Yahtzee Hazards - Take Care Out There!

 

  Have you had a slip, trip or fall going to, coming from or during a Yahtzee Match? Have you had a stray die wallop you in the peeper or been slapped by a disgruntled opponent? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you may be entitled to compensation!!

  Obviously I'm joking! But that's not to say that Yahtzee doesn't come with it's own hazards! They ARE real, they ARE there, and you DO need to watch out for them!

  Before we go any further, I think I should probably clarify what I mean by the word "hazard". Obviously a game of Yahtzee in and of itself is never going to be considered a dangerous activity. What I mean is that it is unlikely to be considered an extreme sport anytime soon. Not unless you feel the need to play while free falling from 50,000 feet in the air........ now there's an idea. But in all seriousness, 99.9999999999% of the time Yahtzee is one of the safest hobbies you can pursue... but it does have it's moments. So without further ado, let's get in to the quite rare, but VERY real potential hazards of playing Yahtzee!

#1 - Yahtzee Rage

  After roughly two and a half years of being the Chairman of the BHO Yahtzee Organisation AND playing in 98% of the Matches, I consider myself qualified to speak on such subjects. I have seen Yahtzee rage develop from it's embryonic stage all the way to it's violent and eruptive birth! I must admit though, a lot of the eruptive behaviour I have witnessed has emanated from none other than myself! I do find emotional control difficult sometimes. BUT, I'm not the only one! There are a good many people I play with (at Yahtzee) that have a rather short fuse. Usually this only manifests as disgruntled huffs and puffs but it can often evolve into a barage of foul language, usually directed at whoever is doing the best! This is usually as far as it goes. On the rarest of occasions though, I have seen blood spilled. It's never pretty and quite frankly it is always a blight on our fine sport (yes, sport), but as previously stated, this is an extremely rare occurrence... I tell ya, when you've paid three quid to enter a competition, it's quite alarming what someone will do to protect it!! It can often begin with aerobatic dice (we'll get to that) Sometimes people get so angry with the way things are going, but they have no-one to blame it on, that they just launch the dice out of frustration! They are usually not aiming for any one person in general, but that doesn't make it any less hazardous!

#2 - Airborne Dice

  Many an eye has been lost to Yahtzee. So much so that it even has it's own name; Dice Blindness! Sounds extraordinary doesn't it? Well, let me tell ya, play a few heated games of Yahtzee and then come back to me!

  But, airborne dice?? How does this even happen?? Well. There are two ways it might happen actually. Allow me to elaborate! The first reason for airborne dice blends in with the Yahtzee rage we have just discussed. Basically, players can get themselves in such a manic state of rage that they get so frustrated with their performance that they take it out on the dice and just fling them across the room! And I can tell you right now that if you get clogged in the eye by a D6 that hurtled towards you at 95 MPH, you bloody well know about it! I still struggle to see the pips on the dice that didn’t bounce off my cornea! Secondly, Yahtzee players do tend to get just a tad over excited, especially if they're doing well, so sometimes they may become a little over zealous when it comes to rolling. This can result in the injury we have just discussed OR, if you have a doggo like me, it could result in one of your prized dice on a one way trip through your doggy's digestive tract! My wife used to rinse them off when they had made their journey, but even so, I couldn't play with them after that! She's an odd woman!

#3 - Mental Anguish

  The least discussed and, in my opinion, worst hazard in a Yahtzee Match is the mental torture that often comes after a diabolical result! Trust me, I know! Obviously, if you have a strong constitution this type of hazard may never affect you. Unfortunately I, and others I know, do not have a great constitution. Losing a match can be like Judgement Day sometimes!!

  Obviously I can only speak for myself (but I know that there is more than just me) but, on certain occasions, after a particularly bad loss, I do come home, in a foul mood, torturing myself over what I should or shouldn't have done differently! It is particularly painful to know that you can, and have, done so much better in a Match. But, I never let it truly get me down. I am up for the fight... always! It doesn't matter if I have 15 shite scores back to back, I will still come back to the Yahtzee board EXPECTING a win! It may not happen and my score at Yahtzee may be comparible to that of a Scottish football Match (they don't score points either) but I do have the ability, for now, to shrug it off and carry on! Some of us don't have that capacity! But, it's okay, we all deal with things in different ways. It's the others that scare me! When the chairs start flying, you best believe I'm out of that door! As much I love this sport (yes, sport), I also know that it is just a game and it really isn't worth getting your panties in a bunch over!

  So, if you're a hot head too and you behave in this manner, please, when you get destroyed in a Match, please please PLEASE take a good hard look in the mirror! Nobody wants to see your tantrums from across the room, they are off putting to all those still trying to play. I know you're passionate and I respect it but in reality it's really not a good look for you! After all, as much as I love it, it is still only a game!!

  In conclusion, Yahtzee can and will mess with your mind, force you to do things out of anger and frustration that you wouldn't do in any other normal day! But this happens only if you let it! So I say to you, my fellow Yahtzee brethren. Keep Yahtzee friendly and refuse to bow down to your animal instincts. You are not a Wolf fighting for dominance in the pack, you are a Yahtzee player trying to enjoy yourself. And so is everyone else. Let's keep it that way shall we?

  NOTE: This post is 95% satire, but that doesn't mean that there aren't nuggets of truth sprinkled in!!