Match Results
1. Jacob - 294
2. Russell - 260
3. Claire - 244
4. Millie - 181
5. Chris - 170
6. Grace - 141
Summary
Another Friday, another Live Match. It was marred somewhat by my shonky internet service, but we got there in the end. Talk Talk, do one please, and if you're using them, find a different provider, quick, they are shite!!
Jacob, yawn, came first. Is anybody else sick to death of seeing his name at the top of these match results?? Yeah, me too. But, all due respect to him, and it makes me feel physically ill to say this, but he did actually play w... we.... wel...... ahem..... well. There I said it. Just for context, Jacob is currently stood above me whilst I write this holding a 24 inch black rubber dildo in his sweaty grasp, just in case I say something negative... so, well done Jacob, we all love you and we hope you go on to have great successes in all your future endeavours... also, can I have my dildo back now please?
Russell came second. He played well even though he doesn't like the online matches. He's getting on a bit and he is certainly not a fan of the digital age. In fact he still thinks trains are "new fangled technology". So, well done Rusty... for all your whining and moaning about playing online, you actually played well. And all of us on planet Earth love you and we will never attempt to steal your fortune, because, well... y'know... he doesn't have one!
Claire came third, although I doubt if she will remember. By all accounts her head was resting on the table while some good samaritans were using her hand to input the scores. I knew that eventually it would come down to this. I will say, she is a very busy woman and she has a lot to do, so I don't think we can put this all down to the Dutch broth on this particular occasion. Come on Claire, I think it's time for a spar day, you are starting to look a bit like Lord Farquaad!
Millie came fourth. Not the greatest of scores from a girl, sorry, woman, that came first in the last live match. But, as I've always said, you can't win them all, and to be fair, it wasn't the worst score I've ever seen (mine was despicable). The thing with Millie is that you really have to get her on the right day! If anything has gone wrong in her day... forget about it! Don't bother trying to talk to her ... you'll be worm food. I am assuming that the same applies to Yahtzee results. So, what I'm saying is, I don't know what happened, and I don't want to, but I am assuming it wasn't good.... but well done.... love youuuuu xxxxxxxxx
Then there was me! If we must. And I have to say, I played like a leper that caught aids from a rabies infected monkey that had already caught Hepatitis B, that had previously caught typhoid from a fish. So basically I played shit, but it wasn't my fault, because I felt "woozy"... or I could be lying... you decide...
In sixth place, with no such medical trauma, was Grace. She did not do well. In fact, she played like a moth that continually bangs it's head against a light bulb and wonders where the sun is at. But THAT'S OK. And I'll tell you why. The League is over! Why is this significant? Well, because now we have time to test moves and strategies that we wouldn't normally use, in order to prepare for the upcoming competition!! You see that Grace? Got you out of that one, didn't I?
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog or on our Discord. You can als email me at bhoyahtzeeorg@gmail.com for any queries you might have.
See you next time, homies!!
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