Match Results
1. Grace - 243
2. Millie - 233
3. Jordan - 224
4. Claire - 215
5. Lee - 197
6. Chris - 191
7. Russell - 178
Match Summary
I don't know what it was, but I had a strange feeling in my waterworks that this week's live match would be a bit sparse on attendees. Not sure why, call it women's intuition. Either way I was wrong, we were actually quite well occupied. Bloody women (oops, that's me cancelled).
Grace came first, proving that if she was an inanimate object she would be a yo-yo. First place two matches ago, last in the last match then first in this one. Truly bizarre in an amazingly inconsistent way. Don't get me wrong, the winning must feel mighty nice, but inconsistency don't make no champion. Grace, stop fondling Jordan's rarebit and pay more attention to Yahtzee! I swear, you'll get so much better!
Millie, yes MILLIE, finished second! ANOTHER great performance from the Welsh thoroughbred! I am honestly flabbergasted. But good on her, seriously. She turns up to play incredibly regularly, never has any expectations and no matter the result she's back to rock and roll for the next match. But, if she has a fault, she's just a bit too laid back. She need a bit of fire in her belly and not just McDonalds!
Jordan, Grace's much better, though admittedly Welsh, half came third. This too was impressive as he's hardly a Yahtzee veteran. His appearances at the Yahtzee board, be it virtual or otherwise, are always few and far between. It's always nice to "have" him, I just hope that he doesn't tell Grace what we've been up to. And before you ask, he HAS asked me to dress like a barnyard animal, but I've always refused. I do have some bloody standards!
Claire came fourth with another fair to middling score. If she was a car she would be stuck in cruise control, which is nowhere near as nice as it sounds. I think the Carlsberg is now having little to no effect on her these days, thus affecting her score. Claire, I know you have been avoiding the inevitable, but I think it's time for you to seriously consider moving on to the Special Brew, or Moonshine, at least.
Lee came fifth. I'm not going to have a go at him though as this week he proved, without a shadow of a doubt, his commitment to the BHO. He had double booked himself, you see. He had already planned to go out dogging on this particular evening, but it didn't stop him playing. So there he was in the backseat of a Vauxhall Nova getting a nosh from a fifty year old tart called Sharon while Barry, her sixty year old husband diddled himself to the view. AND, through all of this, he was still attempting to roll a Yahtzee. Lee, you have my respect!
I came sixth, and I hate to say it but I could not fall back on any of the above excuses. Nope, I just played like wank. The most positive nonsense I can come up with to lessen the sting of my abysmal peformance is that at least it wasn't a League, or God forbid Champions League match. Yeah, I know. Lame.
Russell, unfortunately, finished last this week. I don't mean to be cynical, but Rusty and myself are in a tussle at the top of both the League and Champions League, so I can't help hoping that his poor fortune continues and my poor fortune buggers off just in time. With any luck he'll have one of his flashbacks that will derail his momentum. What will it be this week? The time he was sacked from being David Hasselfoff's stunt double in Baywatch because he was too plump or the time he was Madonna's stand-in vagina. Eww. I honestly have no idea, I just only hope it happens!
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog or on our Discord. You can als email me at bhoyahtzeeorg@gmail.com for any queries you might have.
See you next time, homies!!
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