For some people, their comes a time in any competitive endeavour, whether it's football, Yahtzee or tiddlywinks, when things just do not go their way. Sometimes it is just a bad match, or maybe it's a few matches, but every now and then they're staring into the chasm of the perpetual loser; a run of bad luck and losses that goes on for so long that they cannot see an end to it and they can't even remember when it started. Normally, I would say something comforting at this point, like it happens to us all, but the truth is, it doesn't. Some lucky scallywags never seem to have to go through this, and as a result, there will be some people reading this wondering what the bloody hell I'm talking about. Well I'm here to tell you people and potential doubters that the chasm... is real. I know it because I've been there. And it isn't pretty!
It starts with a loss. You're not happy about it but you don't give it too much thought. This is followed by another loss, then another. Then, guess what... another. Pretty soon three gremlins take residence in your brainium. They are the gremlin of self doubt, the gremlin of overthought and the gremlin of self sabotage. Soon those gremlins settle into their new abode, start sifting through carpet samples and making trips to Ikea. What a cosy home they make of your subconscious and they don't plan on going anywhere. Your losses soon increase to double figures and now even your competitors are starting to laugh at you, like that's gonna help! The weeks pass, your losses increase and finally you've arrived at the chasm and you've fallen in. Something drastic has to change or that's where you'll stay!
The chasm of the perpetual loser is a daunting place, a claustrophobic nightmare. A fever dream of missed opportunities, dire scores, ponting fingers and toothy grins celebrating your downfall. It's a place you absolutely do NOT want to be. The only trouble is it's a bitch to get out of. As stated, I've been there. I've had to claw my way out from that impossibly deep chasm and find my way back to the sanctifying light of winning ways, and I'm here to tell you how I did it. I will warn you, scaling the walls of this pit of loss is not always easy and it's not always quick, but it can be done.
Remember those gremlins? It's them! Before they came you were just losing, now you're in the chasm. Those pesky little shits have been acting like an older brother that's been thrown out of his house by his wife and promises he'll only spend two nights on your couch but it turns into three months and they pay for bugger all! Get what I'm saying? They're freeloaders, living rent free in the back of your mind. They offer nothing except misery and doubt. It's time to send them packing. So do it! But how?
First thing you need to do is relax. Losing, at least for me, feels like been stabbed in the gut with a dull, rusty kitchen knife. Don't ask how I know, but don't ever criticise your wife's strogonoff. Just trust me, it stings. What you need to do is realise that it really isn't the end of the world and there WILL be other matches. Just this small shift in mindset can work wonders, it can certainly disarm the dirty little gremlins and make them feel like they might be outstaying their welcome. Like a piss head at a party who refuses to leave three hours after it's finished. Again, don't ask me how I know.
Secondly, take your losses with a pinch of salt. This is a tricky one, I know. Like I said, losses hurt, but the important thing is to not let them linger. The sooner you can shake off the funk of defeat the better. You can't wallow in what might have been, drowning yourself in the thoughts of duff rolls, risks that never paid off and the ridicule of self congratulatory turds you happen to call friends. No, dust yourself off and get back to it. If you can learn how to do this, and it is an art, no doubt about it, but if you manage it, those shit bag gremlins will realise that the bailiffs are coming and your mushy grey matter is no longer their home.
Thirdly, take a good, long, hard look inwards. Yes, crippling self doubt and overthinking are major contributors to your fall from grace, but don't forget, you're playing Yahtzee (or any game), a game that is hugely determined by the decisions you make (usually). So look at the decisions you've been making. Yes, sometimes the better man wins, but look at yourself, YOU'RE in the chasm. It can be tempting to blame all the things that have gone wrong on others, but the truth is, their might have been something wrong with the way you're playing that allowed them pesky gremlins to take residence in the first place. So take the time to introspect, examine and dissect the way you have been playing. You might be surprised at what you find. Too many people just love to play a game. This is 100% okay. But, if a loss is hitting you hard enough to fall into the chasm, then that means you CARE about the game, and also winning, and the only way to stay out of the chasm and keep those gremlins away is to stop losing. Don't just play when your name is called, put in the hours. Less than 5% of a champion's precious time is spent competing. It's spent training. Think about that!.
Now, this is hardly a comprehensive list, but, for every positive action you take towards ridding yourself of these nasty gremlins and ensuring that every move you make on the Yahtzee board is the best roll for the scenario you are faced with, you will, hopefully, find yourself climbing out of that dank chasm, and who knows, given enough time, you might even begin to see the light once again. Just make sure you stay out of it next time.
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