At this point, we have completed three Leagues and three competitions, something I never ever thought we would achieve. Normally when I have a "good idea", it fizzles out before week one! Now we are approaching two years, and, forgive my pomposity, it is something I am very proud of. The reason being is that I very rarely see anyithing past three months, so nearly two years, to me, is an astronomical achievement!!
Although, after all this time, I have still had to search inside myself. Who am I; what do I want; should I let all my previous lovers know about my various STD's? Because they ARE the particularly nasty ones?
Alright alright, way too much info, please ignore that last bit. I promise, I do have a point, and this one isn't green, unlike my pant's point, ouch. My point is, we are six competitions in now with the BHO and nearly two years deep. Okay, okay, I never said it was a good point!
Anyway, 90% of the time we have used my dice, which I have already told you that I love more than any man should love an inanimate object, even a butt plug. So, of course, most of our other competitors have used them too (the dice, not the butt plug)... apart from Claire (but she has fondled them), she claims they're "too big!". Which, in all honesty, is absolute bollocks. Anyway, these dice have been with me from the very beginning, I love them to an almost inappropriate degree. Like my butt plugs. They may have only cost me three quid, but I still love them and I would not be without them! Me and my dice are a bit like a marriage; I love them and I always will. BUT, if something needs doing and you know your missus just hasn't got the chops for it, it's time to let them stand aside and let the professionals take over. This is not a misogynistic view by the way, as I clearly don't have the chops either (whateverthat means)!!!
But, anyway, there comes a time when you need to give yourself a bit of a slap and say, "right, it's getting a bit serious now, let's treat it that way!". It's true that all of us members at the BHO love Yahtzee, well, you'd have to wouldn't you? Otherwise why would you join a Yahtzee Organisation??
Before I continue, please realise that we have always played by the rules and cheating has NEVER been tolerated! But there is still more that can be done to ensure that every competitor is being afforded an exactly equal and fair shake at victory.
As a result, I have come to an incredibly important, and difficult, decision! And belive me, it hurts my soul! My gorgeous and beautiful black and gold dice are getting... retired! BUT, just to be clear, they will not appear in any competitive match anymore, but I'll still be flipping using them!!
Right at the beginning of the BHO I knew I wanted the dice that I bought... about a week afterwards. But I was still too attached to my old faithfuls!!
So... what did I buy? Well, if you play dice based games, there is really only one type of dice (die?) That you should be using. They are... precision dice. So that is EXACTLY what I bought! Let me tell you, they are perfect, and they cost me a bloody fortune! But I just wasn't ready to switch them out for my OG's. To be honest, Im still not sure that I am, but it NEEDS to happen!
I know what you're thinking, apart from "how in the name of God's cock can you love a set of dice?". The answer to that is between me and the dice, so back off! The other question you MIGHT be asking is, "what in the name of God's cock are precision dice?". Good question!! Well, let me fill you in!
Basically, and technically, precision dice are just dice that are perfectly weighted on every side, therefore every single roll is 100% random. Which, roughly translated, means 100% fair! This is important now. The BHO is growing. Not vastly, but it is. Generally, the more people that are involved in any one sport (yes, sport) the more likely that fairness will get called in to question. This is why I decided to ensure that ALL "in person" matches would be played with the same dice. Obviously, if you have read any of our match summaries, our faction is not available to play all our matches in person as we all live in other parts of the country, I cannot very well make the others play with the same dice. But thats okay, they generally play online, so they will be subject to true randomness too, or at least I hope so! This may seem unfair due to potential non-random online random number generation. But, in the interest of inclusivity, it's the best I can do for now. Perhaps one day we can find a better way, but until then (any suggestionswould be gratefully recieved)...
Finally, a lot was said about my original dice being too big, so they opted to use their own dice, which I didn't have a problem with... AT THE TIME. But the good thing is, my precision dice are much smaller than the originals, so if they have something to say about that afterwards, they are just whining, so they can either put up or piss off!
Anyhoo, this was just a brief post to keep you all abreast (haha... breast...) of the new and very minor change. After all, the BHO's three main focuses are Yahtzee, fairness and transparency...we do also indulge in the occasional dogging session too!!
Comments
Post a Comment