Results
1. Chris - 291 (11pts)
2. Claire - 272 (10pts)
3. Russell - 269 (9pts)
4. Jacob - 265 (8pts)
5. Millie - 255 (7pts)
6. Lee - 254 (6pts)
7. Kerrie - 241 (5pts)
8. Faith - 209 (4pts)
9. Neil - 202 (3pts)
10. Chloe - 169 (2pts)
11. Grace - 164 (1pt)
Summary
It seemed like only the day before to some players that they had just played the last League Match, and to some of them, they weren't far off! Last week's Match took so long to complete that that they were pretty much straight back at it with this week's match. Thankfully this Match went about as smoothly as it could, which is a dream for me as I write these Summaries, so this time around I'm in no rush. But it won't last!
I won another Match, even more proof that the Yahtzee Gods are looking upon me favourably, for now at least. Maybe be it's all I'm doing to spread the good word. To be honest, I don't care what it is as long as it lasts! I remain second in the League but I'm making some dangerous progress!!
Claire came second in the match with a decent score, which is starting to become quite uncharacteristic of her. She didn't even have the excuse of being arseholed this week. But she was in pain. Her shoulder has been giving her a lot of trouble, to which I sympathise. She tells us that it happened while she was on holiday. I must confess that I think this is a bare faced lie. I think it's more to do with the fact that during last week's match she was attempting to rob sweet and innocent Jacob of his innocence, and whilst attempting this she was performing all manner of yoga poses that would be a struggle for women in their prime. But Claire is no spring chicken. So not only did she end up "Jacobless", she's ended up with a dodgy shoulder. Tut... Tut.. in other news, she improves her position in the League from fifth up to fourth.
Russell finished third in the match. Up until the last few matches, he has been storming the League with some outrageous performances, but he's taken a bit of a dip of late. Usually, I can surmise why he's been distracted, but lately he's been keeping his cards, or dice, held pretty close to his chest. He does have one deep dark memory that he NEVER speaks about, and I can't guarantee to it being the root cause of his melancholy, but there was an incident back in the seventeen hundreds, while he was a choir boy in the Catholic church, but that's as much as I am willing to say on the subject. Poor man. He remains first in the League, but he needs to buck his ideas up as he's a mere one point ahead of myself.
Jacob finished fourth in the match. It was his first time meeting Claire face to face since she had attempted to seduce him. He was visibly nervous and he kept sweating into his cider. Now, if you keep up with the blog you will know that Jacob has got Miguel to think about (at least for the time being) and he can't be getting off with some creature of the night (I use the term "creature" in the literal sense here). He kept his distance, tried not to meet Claire's laser like gaze and everthing was just about okay. He does however lose his previous League position of fourth, ironically to Claire, and he now finds himself in fifth.
Millie had a very good evening, by which I mean she finished in the top half of the results, in fifth. She was now home from her trip to Wales and was once again enjoing her life amongst normal people. Everytime she goes back and comes home she is always difficult to understand. It's as if the Welshness just grabs a hold of her and she is a native once again. I didn't grasp most of what she was saying except for "sheep" and "leeks", so I'm deducing that she shoved a leek somewhere inside a sheep. Whether the sheep was alive at the time, I can only guess. Despite her great result, Millie still remains last in the League.
Lee, also fresh from his Wales visit with Millie was home, and walking a little funny, so maybe he was the sheep. Anyway, he finished sixth in the match. He lost out on fifth place by just one point to Millie. Perhaps this is because Millie has finally asserted her dominance and knows... in fact, I'm positive he knows not to accept the upper hand in any situation, because next time it might not be a leek, it might well be a marrow, or God forbid, a pumpkin. He sort of improves his position in the League, moving from ninth to joint seventh.
Kerrie finished seventh in the match. She was absent for the proceedings this week, so she had to play online. This is understandable. She has been incredibly tired of late. For those that don't know, Kerrie, my sister, lives with Russell, my father, and lately she has been having to deal with his night terrors, which I assure you is no easy task. One minute he can wake up screaming thinking he's a Mexican bandit in the old West, the next he's a Victorian body snatcher whose victims have come for revenge. She first needs to fight him off, then get him back to sleep. No easy task as I'vestated, but The Gruffalo usually helps, either that or The Very Hungry Caterpillar. So, yes, she was knackered, but no, you cannot blame her. Despite all this, she admirably remains third in the League.
Faith came eighth in the match, which is still concerning me, but what can I do? She refuses to take my advice. It's at a point now that if our house was on fire and I ran upstairs in a panic to tell her, she would look at me in that cold, half asleep look that she always seems to give me and say, "no it isn't" being quite content for us all to burn to death rather than actually concede that I just may well be right for once. She remains tenth in the League.
Neil finished ninth in the match. Now I know I talk about players being distracted quite a lot, and that's because they are. But Neil was 100% distracted on this occasion. It had been a week since Claire's birthday barbecue, in which he was the chief grill master. Trouble is, the silly biscuit thought it would be a good idea to sample his own food, something we all new better than to do. So he's been a bit poorly over the past week, even while he was playing this time he kept shooting off to the toilet with one finger corking his bumhole. The noises that followed were ungodly. Apocalyptic, if I had to put a name to it. He did, however manage to keep his bowels in check for long enough intervals for him to successfully complete the match. He moves from eighth in the League to joint seventh with Lee, who I'm sure will appreciate the smell.
Chloe came tenth in the match. Certainly not a good score, but bless her, she's in love. You can forgive her for her mind being elsewhere, I am a hopeless romantic after all. I'm sure I've mentioned him before but I forget his name, he's Turkish, so it's something like Achmar, Huckhmed or Abdul (forgive my ignorance, I've never left yorkshire). Either way, it's beautiful to see and I weep everytime she talks with him about a three way, which I assume is a kind of romantic Turkish delicacy. Ahh, young love. Despite her poor performance, she remains sixth in the League.
Grace, my daughter, of all people, finished last in the match. This hurts me greatly. But I still love her, she is, however, on thin ice. I know for a fact that she is better than this and she could be doing so much better! But, she is Welsh at the minute, so maybe her fella needed some leeks stuffing somewhere also... She retains seventh in the League, but it is now shared with Neil and Lee. Come on Grace!
League Table as of 09/08/25
1. Russell - 79pts
2. Chris - 78pts
3. Kerrie - 70pts
4. Claire - 66pts
5. Jacob - 65pts
6. Chloe - 57pts
=7. Grace - 53pts
=7. Neil - 53pts
=7. Lee - 53pts
10. Faith - 46pts
11. Millie - 43pts
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