Match Results
1. Miles - 336
2. Claire - 239
3. Millie - 228
4. Jacob - 227
5. Russell - 195
6. Chris - 185
7. Lee - 169
Match Summary
It was a pretty decent turnout for this week's live match. Unfortunately our newest member (yes, new member) tried to join, just a little too late so we could not accommodate him. In an ideal world, he could join a queue so he would be straight in for the next match. Unfortunately our jankey website does not allow this. I felt bad about this, but Theo, if you're reading, we hope to see you next week (p.s. if you have a suggestion for a better site we could use, we're all ears).
Miles decided he would grace us with his presence this week, and I really wish he hadn't. The lucky little git decided it would be a great opportunity to pull out two Yahtzees and absolutely wipe the floor with us! I'm not saying I'm bitter but... tosspot!
Claire came second with a score that has become something of a rarity of late. I think I know how she managed it though. You see, this was an online match, so Jacob was in his own dwelling, therefore nowhere near Claire. On the plus side, she had nothing to distract her, on the negative side, it was to be a lonely night with her Rampant Rabbit and she's out of batteries. Even her car battery is dead...
Millie was another surprise result. A very decent score from a young lady that usually prefers to languish at the very bottom of any and all match standings. I hate to take these summaries down to a base level (well, not too often, anyway), but I have it on good authority that her other half (Lee) buggered off to the pub the previous evening, getting drunk and puking over himself, so it's fair to assume she's not his bessy mate right now. This means she wasn't preoccupied thinking about cupping balls and lying about "how massive" it is. Good on ya love. If only this would happen more often, she could be a real contender!
You would think that since Jacob was safe and sound at home, under lock and key, and more to the point safe from the advances of Ursula, he would have done a lot better. Well, he didn't do bad, but for a fella that has taken the BHO by storm since his arrival, finishing somewhere in the middle (fourth) is a bit disappointing. Either he's haunted by the ghosts of the previous weeks or he's missing the attention! If the latter is true, he needs to download Tinder (or at the very least Grindr) ASAP. Either that or just find some quality granny porn. Jacob, come to me, my friend, I'll point you in the right direction!
Russell finished fifth, but on this particular day it was VJ day. 80 years since the defeat of the Japanese in the second World War. This no doubt stirred up some feelings in the old fella. He was supposed to be one of the kamikaze pilots to strike Pearl Harbour. But he lost his bottle... about fifteen times. He was told in no uncertain terms to either get a sick note from his doctor or he would be given a dishonourable discharge. Needless to say, he was discharged.
I finished sixth, getting a huge dose of karma in the process. Because I have been playing so well recently, I wrongly thought that I would at least finish in the top half of the table. But oh, how does reality have a habit of kicking you in the nuts when you're riding the tall waves of delusion! So yes, I was handed a healthy dose of humility. Hopefully this does not affect me when we play a League/Champions League match. One can only hope!
Lee finished dead last, but this is almost forgivable. My homie Lee, does not drink an awful lot these days, no, he's usually a lot more comfortable in the warm embrace of the Devil's Lettuce. But the night before, he was out. When I say out, I mean out, out! He got just a little bit off his nut. I don't mean he got squiffy and was falling about like a puppet without strings, no, I mean so blind drunk he threw up all over himself! My point being, I'm Surprised he joined us at all, so his result, for this match (and this match only) was somewhat miraculous. Good on ya Lee, I'd much rather see you vomit on your jeans than try to talk to you at 8pm only to find you're monged out, unresponsive with your head on the dining room table!
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog, Discord or check out our upcoming events page or you can email me at bhoyahtzeeorg@gmail.com for any queries.
See you next time, homies!!
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