1. Jacob - 250
2. Lee - 238
3. Chris - 229
4. Russell - 217
5. Millie - 207
6. Claire - 197
7. Grace - 152
8. Faith - 147
Match Summary
It was a jolly good turn out for this week's Live Match. In fact, we reached our maximum amount of players for the match. The semi decent website we use for such matches unfortunately only allows a maximum of eight players, which is a shame as it really doesn't leave much room for growth. But this time at least, no unlucky bugger was forced to sit out and we all got a game. This was a relief as we were all chomping at the bit in anticipation, more than ready to roll some virtual dice!
Jacob proved that he could still mix it up with the big boys as he came first in the match. This is, of course, a good thing, it's just unfortunate that, when you look at the big picture, his result counts for bugger all! But who knows, maybe the chisel jawed Adonis can take this victory and take his surplus confidence and apply it to the League. It could happen... it might... possibly... maybe... well... it might not as well!
Second place went to Lee. I truly hate to repeat myself here but once again; it was a great result that means sod all! This result in particular was even more of a surprise than Jacob's as Lee has been having a bit of a 'mare for quite some time!! But his good fortune might be explained by the fact that he was getting a bit giddy as his birthday was the very next day and to be honest, he did get some pretty swish gifts. More about this in the League summary, which we played on his actual birthday.
Third place went to myself. Not a bad result, but not a great score. The Yahtzee Gods seem to be turning their backs on me slowly, but with definite purpose. My good form is dwindling about as quickly as a fella's little fella if their woman decides to fart during some sexy, sexy, squidgy time. Quickly. Or at least it's comparable from what I've heard. Sexy squidgy time is nothing but a distant memory for me these days... I'm so lonely...
Russell took the fourth spot. Obviously this was an online Live Match, so I wasn't with my father as he was playing, but some of our faction was and from what I have learned, he got himself pretty animated. Obviously you don't know my father quite like I do, apart from the glowing write up and amazingly positive things I write about him on this blog. Suffice it to say though, Russell, 99.999% of the time in everyday life, he is an incredibly stoic figure. He is a living example of the good old British stiff upper lip. It's very rare ANYTHING gets old Rusty Bobbajob animated. But if there is one thing that is almost guaranteed to stick in his craw, it's online Yahtzee. Personally I think he just can't use it properly, but he insists it's the game itself, as most do when they don't win. While it is true that my father's language has become somewhat more and more colourful with each advancing year, it was nothing compared to what apparently seeped out of his sweaty lips on this occasion. By all accounts it was extremely right wing with just a touch of racist rhetoric thrown into the mix. For shame, daddy.
Millie performed very well... for Millie. If memory serves me correctly (it doesn't always) it's been a good long while since Millie reached the dizzy heights of fifth place in any competition or live match. I'm not sure what could have changed in her disposition that would have improved her game so much. Perhaps she's "romantically satisfied", but if you've met Lee, her other half, you would know that this his highly improbable. So truthfully I don't know, but whatever it is Millie, keep doing it, it seems to be working. A little at least.
Claire, who was once again behaving herself because of work the next day, finished sixth. For once I don't think the lack of booze was the reason for her umpteenth poor performance. I think things are getting a bit serious between herself and Jacob. I don't mean that things are getting spicy, no, more like borderline criminal. She has taken to Facebook stalking and standing outside Jacob's bedroom of an evening, which is probably where she was when she was playing this match. When all this started I said that I thought Jacob was actually kind of enjoying the attention. Things have changed. I saw him the other day, before this match and he looked terrible. A mere shadow of his former self. The fact of the matter is that he is absolutely terrified. There are only so many phone calls you can answer and hear nothing but heavy breathing before it starts to take it's toll. I think it's time that the rest of our Faction needs to hold a little intervention for Claire to stop all this madness or who knows what will become of Jacob.
Grace came seventh, which was a bit of a wet fart of a performance given that she had just won the latest League match. I'm not sure whether some people take the Live Matches less seriously than the competitive matches due to the fact that there is nothing on the line as they are friendly games after all. Me personally, I treat every match as important. After all, practice is necessary and it can only be a positive thing when it comes to the more important matches. This could be the reason that Grace's score stunk like a hooker's underwear at clocking off time, or she could have been distracted by a jigsaw puzzle she was finishing. Yes, she is 23 going on 63.
Finally, Faith finished eighth, keeping that bottom spot warm once again. She must be comfortable down there with those other people on top of her. Dirty girl. I would use the same old tired excuse that she is a busy woman like I usually do. But let's face it, how busy can you really be at half nine on a Friday night? Come on Faith, my beautiful wife, get a grip of it... then play better at Yahtzee!
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog, Discord or check out our upcoming events page or you can email me at bhoyahtzeeorg@gmail.com for any queries.
See you next time, homies!!
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