Match #1 Results
1. Miles - 248
2. Jacob - 199
3. Claire - 198
4. Chris - 175
5. Russell - 165
Summary
Another Friday, another online match. It was a small gathering overall, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It meant we could fit two matches in this week, which is nice. Miles decided to join us for a match, which is always a good thing, otherwise it was just myself and the three other mainstays of the online matches; Jacob, Claire and Russell. Who could ask for more?
Miles proved once again that everytime he chooses to show up for a match he puts in a good shift, he came first, far exceeding everyone elses scores, which I find both impressive and irritating in equal measure. Jacob took second place, which was satisfying because he's turning into a bit of a gobshite, all because he's won a couple of times. In fact he messaged me before the match, and I quote, "See you in 30 mins for your weekly thrashing!", so he's due a slap the next time we meet in person! I know what you're thinking: yes, he beat me. Blah, blah, blah, but he didn't bloody win so... nerr! Claire came third by a mere one point. This is a shame. This is the one time I actually wanted her to do well, just to knock Jacob down another peg. But, that's Claire; a complete disappointment. Speaking of which, I have just placed an ad on Facebook Marketplace for anyone that will take her. I will happily sell my sister for almost any amount. She's got plenty of miles on the clock, but she is easy to maintain, just throw some lager in a bowl at regular intervals and she'll be fine. £1.35p ONO. I came fourth, which really peeved me off, because for the first five or six rolls I was coasting. Then it all went to poo kacky baba... again. Story of my miserable life. But do I care? Just ask me if I care? Well, yes I do. In fact I'm currently fighting back tears as I'm writing this. My dear old, old, OLD dad, Russell came in last place. But believe me when I say this, he actually did pretty well. I am not exaggerating when I say that for the first third of the match I didn't even believe that he would finish above fifty points. So it's actually impressive that he ended up with the score that he did. And I was actually concerned by the end that it could have been me at the bottom of the heap, so good on you Rusty Bibble.
Match #2 Results
1. Claire - 263
2. Jacob - 244
3. Chris - 208
4. Russell - 190
Summary
Miles ducked out of the second match, he needed to listen to some Black Metal and have a chat with Satan, which is obviously far more important than Yahtzee. But the rest of us stuck around for another dice based tussle.
Claire took the top spot this time. It was a much closer match this time around, but a win is a win. She must have been well oiled by this point. She tends to play better, as any regular reader will know, when her chin is resting on the dining room table, drooling, eyes half closed whilst trying to sing "Like A virgin" (remember that, Claire?). Jacob, once again, came second. Don't get me wrong, Jacob is a great lad, but his consistent performances are really getting on my tits. Hopefully he's spaffed them all on the live matches so he's run out of luck when it comes to the upcoming League Three. Not that I'm jealous or anything. I came third, because my luck never seems to bloody change. But at least I was crap from the beginning, so my expectations weren't particularly high from the start. Unlike Jacob, I'm saving all my dynamite performances for the League, which will definitely happen (yeah, right). Russell, once again, came last. But at this point it was way past his bedtime, so he could very well have been falling asleep at the time, bless him.
Once again, thank you to all of those that joined us. It's always great fun. Please keep an eye out on this blog or any of our socials so you can join in our live matches too.
Until next time, you sexy beasts xxx
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