Results
1. Kerrie - 258
2. Jacob - 238
3. Russell - 220
4. Claire - 217
5. Millie - 214
6. Chris - 213
7. Lee - 197
8. Faith - 132
Summary
Another Friday, another match played with others from a cozy horizontal position on my couch, phone in one hand, cider in the other. What can I say? It beats scratching my balls for an hour, and frankly, my plums could do with the break. So, at ten past nine, on the dot, we got underway.
Kerrie took the win, but it has to be said that the scores were pretty shocking all round. But hers was definitely the least shocking, and a win is a win. I would congratulate her, but she was actually a bit of a pompous trollop after the match, so she can sit on my congratulations and swivel. Jacob finished second this week, which was quite satisfying, because second place is merely first loser and he's just getting a bit too cocky these days so it was good to see someone, even if it was Kerrie, knock him off his perch. And Jacob, if you don't like that, crochet yourself someone that gives a shit! Russell managed to round out the top three, despite being haunted by the ghosts of the women he put to death during his time as the Witchfinder General in the 1600's. He was particularly cold and callous during this period. In fact, if you were a female and could spell your own name, you were pretty much a witch and was therefore condemned to to die by being burnt alive at the stake. Y'know, a decent "Christian" death... awful man. Claire managed fourth place. She didn't really play to her usual standards so I can only conclude that she was arseholed, because normally on a Friday we call each other for a bit of a post match debriefing, but this particular Friday, she was unable to be contacted. There are only two reasons for this usually, and that's either illness or inebriation. And she wasn't bloody ill! Millie took fifth place, with a pretty dismal score. I can't say for sure, but she might have been a bit distracted by the limited chat function on the online Yahtzee site, which her and Lee spent a good five minutes spamming for no discernable reason. But I appreciate that they're young and I'm getting old, so it was probably hilarious... to someone. I came sixth, and I entirely blame this fact on Kerrie, Jacob, Russell, Claire and Millie. Mainly for doing better than me. Lee took seventh place, which, believe it or not, was actually a bit of a lucky break for him, because for the longest time, he was dead last. I can't say for sure what was wrong with him, but Lee, come on, you're better than this! Although he might have been multi-tasking. As mentioned, I tend to leave my love plums alone while playing Yahtzee, but I actually think Yahtzee and love plum fondling is a bit of a kink for Lee. I might need to have a word. Sitting in last place was Faith. Now, I'm not gonna have a go, because I actually feel a bit sorry for her. Every time we go live, Faith is usually putting our beautiful daughter, Heidi, to bed. So she is usually genuinely multi-tasking (not the kind Lee gets up to), so she can be forgiven for being a bit distracted. Commiserations Faith, hopefully one evening we'll get it just right and you can actually concentrate on what you're doing.
So, that was the live match. Once again, thank you to all that made it. We will be back at it again next Friday, so if you fancy it, check out the upcoming events page on this blog to make sure you don't miss out!
'Till next time you slippery eels xxx
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