Happy Birthday to Miles - The BHO's Temu Rockstar

 

  Well, it had to happen someday. Miles Bush, my only son, turns the grand old age of fifteen today. Well, his actual age is fifteen, but to hear him talk sometimes you would think he was a world weary veteran of the Human race or a drifter just after a shootout in a Spaghetti Western! But, it's his age (I keep telling myself), weren't we all like that in our teens? We used to think we knew it all! In reality, at least for me, I think I know just as little now as I did back then. So I'm not blaming the boy, but he could at least do something about that mullet he insists on keeping perched on his young bonce!

  Fifteen years ago, Miles slithered out of his mother like an eel escaping from a Cockney pie and mash shop just before it got jellied! Even so, you best believe I was proud. I did get the midwife to give him a quick rinse before I held him though. But once I had him in my arms I knew... I just knew... I'd made a massive error. I did try to shove him back where he came from but the wife wasn't having any of it!

  I jest, of course, the real truth is that I couldn't have been more proud! He was (emphasis on WAS) gorgeous, and he was just like his dad in the manhood department... tiny. Nowadays he is your typical grungy teenager. You know the type: bum fluff rather than an actual beard, ripped jeans, skateboards an outward demeanor that could rival that of Kurt Cobain... and a bloody mullet, that's right, a bloody MULLET! I can forgive everything else, after all, I too was young once, many, many, MANY years ago and I was pretty much exactly the same... but the mullet! Every time I see it I spend the next few hours questioning where I went wrong in my upbringing of him. I usually arrive at the same conclusion though... it's my wife's fault. I mean, there's no possible way that I could be at fault after all!

  Miles's bleak outlook, I firmly believe, is just a product of his age. It's as if teenagers are given a handbook on how to behave and told to follow the rules stringently! The truth is, his mask does slip sometimes, and it is in these moments that you realise that he is actually a warm, friendly, endlessly loving young chap. He's incredibly laid back and he has a wickedly sharp sense of humour! It is in these moments that he is a joy to be around, a joy to converse with and it is a clear reminder that beneath his many teenagerisms he is the same Miles Bush that I have always known and truly one of my best friends! And what do you do with your bestest buddy? That's right, you get them into Yahtzee!!

  Miles's relationship with Yahtzee is kind of comparable to a Marriage that is on extremely shaky ground. By this I mean that one minute he loves a good old Yahtzee Match, just like a married couple that have just rediscovered trouser fun with each other. OR him and Yahtzee can't stand the sight of each other and divorce papers are imminent! But let me tell ya, when things are going good between them, Miles can truly be a force to be reckoned with, but when things are a bit iffy, he can often struggle to roll a one! Unfortunately, while playing a League, consistency is key, so he has struggled to make his mark! But I do hope he sticks with it, not merely because I think he has it in him to do well, properly well, but because he is my son and I love having him around! He is a valued member of the BHO and I hope that he remains a part of it, part time at the very least, for a good long time to come, and who knows, if he begins to show a bit more of that good old fashioned British commitment and I fall off the perch or just stop living in general, he might just be the BHO's next Chairman! We'll see!

  So, Happy Birthday Son, I hope you have a fantastical day and I hope the Birthday Fairy brings you that haircut you so desperately, desperately, DESPERATELY need!!

  Love you xxx