From a far off land of Elves, Pixies, Trolls and Orcs came a man... or at least a human with a penis. He came, like a pale (very pale) knight on a white horse he rode in with one idea on his mind; to show all of us menial serfs how Yahtzee should be played. It has to be said, Jacob, who's birthday it is today, has had quite a bit of success in this regard! Since his arrival, he's certainly put a spanner in the works!
Jacob has been around the Bush family for many years; a bit like a fart you drop in a supermarket that never seems to leave you, no matter how hard you try to leave it behind!
I met Jacob when he was good friends with my nephew, and I talked to him, and we got on, but we were never more than acquaintances. Now though, he is a good friend, an exceptional Yahtzee opponent, a bit of a nerd and totally unreliable. But he is working on that. He has entered a 12 step programme and attends regular "Ignorant Shits Anonymous" meetings. I'm pleased to say that slowly he is getting better now he is recieving the help he needs!
To say that Jacob has made his mark in the BHO would be an understatement. He has won more Live Matches than anyone and while he has not won any Championships yet, his fortune was good enough for him to earn the "Luckiest Twat Of The Year" award at this years BHO Birthday Honours, and it was very well deserved! Whenever there is a BHO meetup, everyone always asks whether Jacob is coming, which, admittedly can be a tricky question to answer as he has not fully mastered the art of replying to messages, but he is even improving at that! I can honestly say that the BHO would be a duller place without him. So, Jocob, don't you go anywhere!!
Anyway, today he turns 26, not that you would know it! He still looks like that teenager that I used to see knocking about my sister's house. He has a youthful glow... well, it could be that, or he might just be so pale that he glows in the dark... he does play World of Warcraft! But he is a fantastic competitor, a great friend with lightning wit and I hope he is here for the duration! So, from myself and the rest of us at the BHO, have the best Birthday ever! Hopefully we see you on or around this day so we can have a good drink and roll a few bones in your honour! Love you bro!!
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