Introduction
It took me a good few weeks for me to track Jacob down, for this, our latest one on one Match. I had to search everywhere for him; I searched Hogwarts, Middle Earth and even Westeros. I found him in Hobbiton, being cared for by a wee Hobbit hooker caled Maude. He was a pitiful sight to behold. Shmeebold had really done a number on him this time. His legs were at right angles to his body and his arms looked like a pair of staicases that hung pathetically from his body. I have to say I did try to feign some empathy, but I couldn't help giggling inside.
After talking with him for a while I found out that he was so far behind on his repayments to Shmeebold that this could very well be the last time we met. At that point, I felt bad for feeling so happy about his situation. Yes our rivalry is fierce, but I do like him... sort of. I certainly have no desire to see him go the way of the Dodo, however!
I proposed a deal. I offered to help get Shmeebold off his back for the foreseeable future if I didn't have to trek thousands of miles trying to bloody find him next time! At first he told me to stick it up my arse, but eventually he relented. I think he realised he was all out of options. So, for the short term at least, he's my bitch. I hoped the same applied to Yahtzee...
Match Results
1. Jacob - 315
2. Chris - 266
Summary
... It didn't. He walloped me again. In my rage immediately after the Match I thought about telling Shmeebold exactly where to find Jacob, but I thought better of it. I do have some morals. I have decided to see who wins this one on one tussle, THEN I might go find Shmeebold if I lose. It's only right!
Standings
Chris 1 - 5 Jacob
Final Thoughts
Yes it's true, I'm getting battered, even by a fella that has been well and truly battered. But I swear, as long as I have breath in my lungs I will fight until the bitter end! If I lose even after that, I might just have to have him killed...
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