The year is 1888. A young, unstable drunk by the name of Vincent Van Gogh paints a picture. It is a dark and jarring work. For many it is unpleasant to look at, but this was intentional. It is a painting of despair, degradation and loss. But it is, no less, a masterpiece. But there is a story behind this painting that few people know, and I'm here to let you in on the secret...
Unless you never went to art class in school, or you are an absolute philistine, which isn't too rare these days, you should really know who Van Gogh is. For those that really don't know (shame on you) he was the greatest artist of the nineteenth century. His career lasted just a few short years but he made some of the most beautiful, mesmerising and influential paintings that the world has ever seen. But! And most people don't know this, aside from being an artist, a drunk and just a wee bit unstable, he also loved Yahtzee. This seems to be a fact that many, if not all, art scholars seem to ignore. So how do I know? Well, that's because one of my ancestors actually knew him. But we'll get to that. Back to the painting.
Now, please bare in mind that all the information I have learned about this painting has been handed down through generations of my family, so details may have been overstated through the years. So, acknowledging all that, let's dive in...
Now, I hate to admit it, but back in the nineteenth century, my ancestors were French. I know, I know, I'm sorry, but what can I do? You can't choose your family can you?! Anyway the ancestor that is relevant to our conversation is a man by the name of Reneè Le' Beusch. And why is he important to our conversation? Well, because he used to frequent the very bar (the Café de la Gare) that you see in the painting along with Vincent Van Gogh. And boy, did Reneè have some stories to tell!
The Café de la Gare, as far as I have been led to believe, was an absolute den of debauchery; a place of vice, sin and excess. The perfect place for a descendent of mine. If you look at the painting, you will notice a door in the background, well, behind that door were a set of rooms with women that could make all of your dreams come true... for a price of course. You best believe that Reneè was a frequent flyer in that regard. But it was the main room, as depicted in the painting where all the action (even if it was a bit less sticky) happened.
It all went down in that room. Obviously you can see the pool table, where lots of money was won and lost, but it's the tables where the magic really happened. They were host to all kinds of nasty goings on. Absinthe was the main activity. Now, if you you don't know what Absinthe is, it's an alcoholic beverage, but not just any alcoholic beverage. For descriptive purposes, let's say you have the sweetest grandma in the whole world; she just exudes charm and warm hearted vibes. Well, give her a shot of Absinthe and she'll be bouncing of the walls whilst headbanging to 'Smack My Bitch Up" by The Prodigy. It has the capacity to turn choir boys into fiends! There were other activities, other than the mind altering spirits. These included poker, dominoes, tiddlywinks and... of course, Yahtzee. Basically anything you could gamble on. This is where Reneè comes in.
Reneè was a regular at the bar. He'd play all the above games. Basically, if he could lose money, he would try his best to do so. But he had never played Yahtzee. It was only when a diminutive, ginger haired weirdo turned up that Reneè even knew what Yahtzee was! But as soon as he learned, he was obsessed!! This ginger haired weirdo (his words, not mine) was none other than Vincent Van Gogh, the greatest artist of the 20th century.
It has to be said, despite being French, Reneè was an absolute philistine. He had no idea about art and certainly no idea who Van Gogh was (but to be fair, no-one else did either at the time), he was purely interested in Yahtzee, all Van Gogh had to teach and how much he could earn from playing it! And that is exactly what he did. In fact, he spent so much time with the artist that he ended up featuring in the very painting we are discussing right now!
Take a look at the top left of the painting, just below the young couple (or client and hooker) schmoozing, you will notice a fella looking decidedly down on his luck. Well, that is Reneè. And from what I have been told, he was down on his luck because Vincent had just emptied his pockets of everything he had to give... or to live on. This was nothing new for Reneè as this was how most of his evenings ended, but it was rare that his opponents were as forgiving as Vincent. He took pity on my distant relative, bought him some supper and a few more Absinthes and offered him his small room to stay in until the morning. Reneè was only too pleased to take him up on that offer.
Reneè stayed the night at Van Gogh's small room, kipping on the floor. Then one day turned to several. He didn't make himself at all useful during this time, he just watched his gracious host paint. From what I have heard, he actually thought his paintings were a bit rubbish. And he was pretty vocal about it. Thankfully, this was nothing that Vincent hadn't heard before, so he brushed off the criticisms and carried on regardless.
After a few days of Reneè annoying Vincent by being a back seat artist, his deep seated need to gamble came racing up to the surface and he approached Vincent with a proposition. He suggested that there should be an organisation of people that played Yahtzee, hosting competitions with huge cash prices as a result. Vincent did not react well to this suggestion. In fact he got quite annoyed. He told Reneè to get out of his room, do not return and that he hoped he would never see him again. This was a bit of a blow to Reneè, but he did as he was told and he buggered of and took up lodgings at one of the many brothels that were available in France at the time.
Reneè was certainly disheartened by his rejection by the one person that he thought would be interested in his idea. But he didn't let it stop him. He trawled the inns, dive bars and brothels, touting his game, and it has to be said that he came up short at the start. But he was persistent, and eventually he gained a bit of a following.
It was going so well. He had many people playing Yahtzee, fair enough, they weren't exactly the highest of society, buy he was making money... then he got murdered... brutally... with knives and broken bones and last words and everything! Rumour has it that the wrong person decided to get involved in a match and did not like the outcome! I wish I could elaborate, but it would make your gran cry. There were bum holes involved, let's leave it at that.
But I couldn't let his legacy die there. Fair enough, it had been well over a hundred years before I got involved, but I refused to let the BHO Yahtzee Organisation legacy die with Reneè. So I decided I would be the one to do it!
I hope I'm doing him proud! If not, so what? The twat's dead anyway!!!
**This is obviously just a story. So don't be silly**
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