Match Results
1. Russell - 354
2. Faith - 289
3. Claire - 243
4. Lily - 222
5. Millie - 188
6. Chris - 176
7. Jacob - 158
Summary
Well I bloody well never! The Live Match came back this evening after a fortnight's hiatus, and just look at what happened... LOOK!! Russell, or Gestapo Godfrey, as he was known in the war, only came first!!! What kind of bloody sorcery is this?! To be fair to the old man, he does struggle with the Live matches; technology and Russell do not make very good bedfellows... which is uncanny as my mum said she didn't like sharing a bed with him either... anyway, that did NOT seem like a problem tonight! He played like he actually knew what he was doing. And, here's a thought; perhaps he did. I have many, MANY reasons to believe he doesn't, but you can't argue with the results. Well done Russell, not a bad day's work for Caligula's accountant.
To make matters... not so much worse... just a bit bloody weirder... Faith; my darling, daring and definitely hirsute wife, came second! Am I living in the bloody twilight zone?? While her score was nowhere near old Rusty Bibble's, it is still pretty impressive! It is not often that Faith finishes so high up the tree. I have mentioned this before, and as I have said before, this is not because she is bad at Yahtzee, it's primarily due to the fact that at any one time she is thinking about a hundred other things so nothing truly recieves her full attention, including Yahtzee. But she did herself justice this time, so well done, it was well deserved xx
Another human(?) that exceeded expectations in this decidedly odd match was Claire, who came third in the match. Yeah I know, third place is not exactly a rip roaring result, but if you have been keeping up with the match summaries then you will know that Claire's track record in the last couple of months has been suicide inducingly depressing!! Well, not in this match! Once again, I know it's only third, but it is a damn sight better than the painfully shonky scores she has been coming up with! Is this a sign of things to come? Has she turned over a new leaf? One can only speculate. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Lily was kind enough to join us this week and managed fourth in the Match for her efforts. Not a great result, but I am still happy for her. Because she is now competing in the League, she seems to be using the Live Match to get some experience under her belt. This brings a big smile to my face because it means that she is taking the League somewhat seriously, and if she is taking it seriously, she is less likely to pack it in and quit mid way through the League, because as lovely a human as she truly is... she is incredibly flaky. Honestly, she would miss her own wedding if she got a better offer over the phone three minutes before the vows!
Just in case you needed more evidence of what a topsy turvy Match this was... Millie, the Woolly Welshy, finished fifth, and this is the Millie who more less has last place reserved. This may sound a bit mean, but, the stats don't lie!! But, Like with Faith, I have always believed that she can do an awful lot better with the correct application of attention and thought. But therein lies the problem. Her man, my nephew Lee is a bit of a specimen, so as soon as Millie tries her hardest to concentrate he is always there, whispering some of the most vile and perverted things I have ever heard in to her ear. The truth is, Lee is sexually insatiable. It has got so bad that he is having to leave his job at the Card Factory because of numerous complaints. Turns out that when he is working, there are far more returns than any other member of his team. This is primarily because everytime one of Lee's customers actually attempt to write in the greetings card that they had just bought from him, they are always "glued" shut! And this is while he's at work! So imagine what Millie has to put up with! Hopefully though, she can learn to ignore Lee's fetishitic diatribe and can make some serious strides in her gameplay!
Then there was me! Sixth in the Match! Perhaps the only unsurprising result in the whole Match. I don't know what it is about the live Matches, but lately I just seem to suck balls at it. Quieten down Lee, I was talking about my balls merely in a Yahtzee context... my balls have not, do not and they never will have anything to do with you, you sick puppy!! I honestly don't know what my problem is when it comes to the live Matches... I always seem to start off pretty bloody well, often in the lead. But then, inevitably, it all goes to shit! This is depressing... however, I am willing to accept this, as long as it doesn't start to bleed into my League performances... I hope not... but it will!
Finally, and this is the real shocker... Jacob, our Live Match record holder for victories... came... last!!! Honestly, if this guy can finish last in a Live Match (he's not so good in the League) then there may truly be zero hope for any of us! Hopefully this is just a blip, because if I'm honest, if The BHO had fulfilled all my wildest dreams and it was a full on, televised spectator sport and I was just a young Yahtzee fanboy, I would have posters of jacob all over my room and I would sleep next to one also. Too much info? Possibly, but at least you know what I'm saying! Come on Jacob, i don't EVER want to see a result like this from you again!!!
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog or on our Discord. You can also email me at bhoyahtzeeorg@gmail.com for any queries you might have.
See you next time, homies!!
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