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| Sleep Well, Sweet Prince xxx |
It is with a heavy heart that I have to report that Lee Hoggarth, a BHO mainstay and resident Logo Makerer, recently lost his battle with a condition that I don't believe gets talked about enough. That condition is called Impactus Sphincterus. I'm not expecting any of you to know what that is, but as I was his carer in his last moments, I became very well aware... unfortunately. Basically it is a chronic psychological disorder that gives the patient an overwhelming desire to insert any object, the larger the better, into their back passage. While I understand that this condition may sound amusing, I can assure you that it is no laughing matter. While mild sufferers may be content with a hot dog or perhaps a carrot, Lee was never pleased unless it was a marrow, a pumpkin, or God forbid, worse. There were times that Claire, Lee's mother, whom he lived with, arrived home only to find her box of 24 cans of Carlsberg missing and Lee waddling up the stairs like he had just been released from prison. A truly sad state of affairs.
Needless to say, I took him in and offered him guidance. At one point it seemed to be doing well, I managed to talk him down from a giant brown onion to a parsnip. But he soon slipped back into his familiar bad habits... I wish I could have done more... but he needed the girth...
So I guess you could count this as my tribute to the BHO's fallen hero. If you have read any of the BHO's match summaries, you will have likely heard of Lee, the cock-sure, Jimmy Big Bollocks (and wide anus) that thinks that he is better than anyone else (at Yahtzee, and capacity). But, d'ya know what? While it's pretty bloody obvious that he wasn't the best Yahtzee player on the planet! He did, however, have at least one flex that the members of the BHO certainly don't have!
That thing? He could make a pretty bloody good logo! And that is exactly what he did. And he did it well! Just look at his marvellous work below.
I just wanted to give credit where credit is due! He was a master. I just wish I had told him more often. I love you buddy, I just hope they have the lube you like in Heaven xxxx
Sweet dreams pal xxx
Disclaimer: Lee is alive and well and I am sure his sphincter is (relatively) fine. I wanted to make a post thanking him for all his great logos, but then I realised that I couldn't really do that without taking the piss out of him! We have that kind of relationship. So dry your eyes ladies, the tubby lethario is still among us and he's likely to stay among us for the foreseeable future!
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