Introduction
I have to say, it's been a long hard road of a tussle so far, with Jacob... the lady killer. I say that not because he is a sexual dynamo with the women. I say it because he has numerous warrents for his arrest due to crimes AGAINST women. But lately, his legal troubles have been far, far, FAR at the back of his mind. When he turned up for the match, I actually felt pretty bad. If you have read the previous summary of our last one on one, you would know that Shmeebold was hunting Jacob down for his failed repayments of his debts. Well, because I was a bit grouchy about my most recent loss, I have to admit that I sought vengeance and I may have told Shmeebold exactly where to find Jacob (basically any gay club). Because of this, when Jacob turned up to roll the dice, his face had a bit of a beetroot type of complexion! I can't help thinking that this was a little bit my fault, but I got over it.
It turns out that after our Match, and my call to Shmeebold, he caught up with Jacob looking for his money, which he didn't have. So Jacob payed the interest on his loan with his face. And boy did Shmeebold go to town. It's fair to say that Jacob looked a lot more like a haemorrhoid than a human being. Sorry Jacob.
On a positive note, I don't think Jacob suspected me for diming him out. On a slightly more negative note, it didn't affect his game at all. And that's depressing!
But either way, I was happy, and appreciative to see him and play Yahtzee with me. After all, he did make the trek to my gaff all the way from Middle Earth just to see me and play a good old Match, and when you don't have the One Ring, it's a bit of a trek! So cheers laddy, I won't forget it!!
Match Results
1. Jacob - 239
2. Chris - 142
Summary
I have to say, this is starting to get a bit bloody embarrassing now. Jacob came first. Clearly his beating did not dim his faculties as I, rather pathetically, hoped that it would! At this point, I think that Jacob has won the last four Matches in a row, don't quote me on that but the point is he's been playing like a demon and he's making me look like a proper cabbage! He's been playing like a pro (if there is such a thing as a Yahtzee professional). Now, I'm no slouch when it comes to Yahtzee, but you certainly wouldn't know it based on these results. But you have to hand it to the lad. Yes, I lose a Match, far more often than I care to admit, but this fella is taking me to school!
So, in case it wasn't abundantly clear already, I came second! I started these head to head competitions, the first of which been with Miles, to essentially make myself feel better after getting battered in the League, and with Miles, it kinda worked (sorry Miles). But this mini competition with Jacob has had he opposite effect. I just can't seem to get on top of the slimy twat (in Yahtzee, that is, in every other respect he's incredibly easy, and a total slag)!
Standings
Chris 1 - 4 Jacob
Final Thoughts
So as it stands, things aren't looking too good for your favourite Yahtzee warrior (that's me. Just in case you didn't know). But it isn't over just yet. There is plenty of time to mount a comeback, but rest assured, the next time Jacob owes a substantial sum of money to an unhinged lunatic, I will ensure that they finish him off!
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