Introduction
The big day had arrived. My dear old father's big birthday bash! There was great food, great alcohol and great(ish) company. The time had come to tell my dad what his friends, family and myself really think about him. They were all kind words as well (honest). What? You don't believe me? Well, as proof you can check out the speech/post I read out to him here. When I say it got a bit blubbery, believe me. I could barely get through my speech without leaking from my peepers. I am a big softy really! Anyway, it was nice to tell him just how valued he truly is.
So, after all the soppy stuff was out of the way, and a bit of primal mastication on some sausages that were black on the outside and cold in the middle, the serious work could begin. We had a Match to play. And there was cash on the line!
We had agreed in advance that there would be a five quid buy-in but three quid out of every five would go to my daddy for his birthing day. Aren't we great people?! That left him with a nice chunk of change and the rest of us (including him actually) playing for twenty five quid, should you finish top of the tree! A modest sum, but if you had seen how competitive we can get over a single quid you would know that each and every one of us had our eyes fixed on the prize!
Results
1. Claire - 425
2. Faith - 388
3. Russell - 335
4. Neil - 270
5. Molly - 262
6. Jacob - 255
7. Millie - 208
8. Chris - 206
9. Lily - 203
10. James - 200
11. Chloe - 197
12. Miles - 192
13. Lee - 162
Summary
Would you bloody believe it? The woman I have been deriding for months for being a mere shadow, a speck of her former self, Claire, only went and took top spot, not only walking away with the bragging rights, but walking away with a few extra beer vouchers to boot! This was very impressive, and I say this not just because she won, but also because this was the single most drawn out Match in the BHO's history. In case you didn't know, a long drawn out game of Yahtzee, full of delays, can seriously put a player off their stride, so how someone as dim witted as Claire managed to stay so focused for so long is absolutely perplexing! But she did. And she won. And we are all fuming!
Surely the most fuming competitor of the lot of us must be Faith! She came second, but she was SOOOO bloody close! I can only imagine what was going through her mind. This is the woman that staples "missing" posters on lampposts if she loses a quid! Commiserations Faith, maybe next time.
Russell came third. Not a bad result, but it didn't really matter to him, he was already walking away with more than he could win. But I know Russell, he will have wanted to win anyway for pride's sake! Money means NOTHING to this man! You don't get to be King Yahtzee without a dedication to the craft and a need to win!
Neil managed fourth. A pretty good score... for him at least. But it came at a cost. Each turn he took lasted about ten minutes and most of that time was spent just trying to remember why he was even there in the first place. Get yourself checked fella!
Molly surprised most us by getting ANYWHERE near the top spot by finishing fifth. But she didn't surprise me! Molly is an out an out money grabber and will do just about anything to get it! Even play well at Yahtzee!
Jacob came sixth. I know he won't be impressed by such a performance and for him, it's not about the cash, he plays to win, so he'll be at home as I write giving himself a good talking to!
Millie came seventh. Nowhere near the cash of course, but a decent position nonetheless. She can always be counted on lately to provide at least a half decent score, but I'm still itching to see that competitive edge I know she has in her, but at the moment she is too much of a teddy bear! Come on Millie, get them claws out!
I finished eighth and it had nothing to do with the fact that I played like absolute trash and everything to do with the grumbly guts I had from the BBQ... only joking... I wish I wasn't... but I really did just play shit... again!
Lily finished ninth... bless her... I want her to do well and taste a bit of victory, but I'm really not to sure that she has it in her. She is an incredibly sweet person and I have a lot of time for her, honestly, but the truth is... she's just... a bit dim. In a loveable way though, not an irritating way like Neil!
James came tenth. Not a great place to finish but I am happy that he decided to play on the day we were honouring his Grandad!
Chloe came eleventh with a torrid score. She is so much better than this, but I did notice that when she arrived she went straight for the wine, so she may have been on a mission, not a Yahtzee mission... An alcoholic mission!
Miles came twelfth which I must admit WAS a surprise. He is definitely better than his score would suggest, but he seemed more interested in getting wet with his cousin. Take that however you wish...
Finally, there was Lee... yep Lee. The fella that aided in the creation of the BHO. Last. With a testicle achingly bad score! I expected more. Actually I think all of us expected more. Lee, take a long hard look in the mirror... then play better Yahtzee!
Well said, agreed with everything, especially the Neil bit!
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