Results
1. Jacob - 285 (16pts)
2. Millie - 274 (15pts)
3. Russell - 272 (14pts)
4. Lee - 266 (13pts)
5. Lily - 261 (12pts)
6. Grace - 249 (11pts)
=7. Chloe - 246 (10pts)
=7. Jordan - 246 (10pts)
9. Chris - 239 (8pts)
10. Neil - 228 (7pts)
11. Miles - 212 (6pts)
12. Claire - 208 (5pts)
13. Faith - 196 (4pts)
14. James - 190 (3pts)
15. Molly - 188 (2pts)
16. Kerrie - 163 (1pt)
Summary
It just so happened to be the fourth match of the League (obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be waffling about it here) and boy there have been some changes! But calm down and change your knickers, we'll get to that!
Jacob was back to his winning ways, coming first in the Match! Not something that I, personally, wanted to see, but hey ho! I think this is a good thing though; it's been a good while since the warcrafted bro had a decent score, so I assume this result has come as more of a relief to him than anything. My point being, with any luck, the few dodgy results may have humbled him a bit, because if I had to listen to the smarmy twat prattle on about how awesome he is for much longer, I may have murdered him! It seems to have worked... for now at least. He has moves all the way from eleventh in the League up to first. The crafty nerk!
Millie, yes, Millie, good old, superbly old, spectacularly old (in spirit, at least), but actually pretty young, Millie, came second in the Match. What did I say? Watch out for this one! She is playing an absolute blinder recently! I'm actually beginning to get just a wee bit intimidated by this little Welsh wonder, and, if they know what's good for them, so should the other League competitors! She moves from joint third in the League up to second! Nicely done!
In third place in the Match... was Russell. Now, I know Russell tends to bring up incredibly bad vides in people, and I get it. He does the same thing to me... But he is my Daddy.... and I love him. These bad vibes though, used to have Yahtzee involved, and they usually affected his performance. But not this bloody time! He played exceptionally well. That's not to say that we didn't hit him anyway, because Russell abuse just seems to keep the rest of our clock's ticking.... I am joking, of course, Russell. As a human, he is held in the very highest regard! Even higher now that he finished third!! Just know that we're coming after you, dad. BUT, thanks even though he has had some very impressive results lately, he does fall from joint sixth in the League down to eighth. But... daddy-shmoozy-moozy-poopy-woopy, you played awesome... just not awesome enough... I lovey-wovey-wove you.... ya tit.
Lee came fourth in the Match, which was honestly a bit of a shock. I don't like to be too negative about my fellow competitors, but recently, he HAS been playing Yahtzee like a double armed amputee at a masturbating competition. BUT!! NOT THIS TIME!! In fact, he did a bloody good job! Is there life left in the old dog yet? I'm not sure. I need to be convinced. But for this week at least he did a bloody good job!! Unfortunately, though, he moves from joint thirteenth in the League, to thirteenth all on his lonesome. Awwwww......... love you.....
Lily, the pin head (only joking, you know I love you really!) Came fifth in the Match. Not a bad result for a young lady that still doesn't really know the rules! But, and I mean this sincerely, at least she tries! And this result is evidence of what can happen if you just give it your best shot! Good on ya lass! She moves up from fifteenth in the League, to twelfth.
My darling daughter, Grace, was next in the queue, in sixth place in the match. I'm still trying to decide if she is actually quite skilled at Yahtzee or whether she just takes after me in a very, very, eency weency tiny way. I presume that it's the latter, but she just not have the same panache as her father. It is hardly her fault... I am one in a million! She moves from second in the League down to fourth.
Chloe, or "the apparition", as I have started calling her, came joint seventh in the match. Why do I now call Chloe the apparition now? Well, it's because I barely ever see her since she decided to become all independent and move out of her mother's (Claire's) house... well, squat... well, trailer. Now don't get me wrong, I am incredibly proud of my niece for spreading her wings and flying as far away as is humanly possible from her mother's gaff. But I love Chloe, and I miss her. COME HOME! PLEEEEEEASE!! Or at least show your a bit more often! She moves from joint third in the League down to fifth.
Now, for a genuine apology... to all but the Welsh in our midst... I have no idea how we have ended up with a Welsh minority in the the BHO, because let's face it, one is enough, really.... but here we are. Jordan, one of our two Welsh culprits, finished joint seventh with Chloe, all nestled together, cozy and warm... the bloody pervert! Grace, you need to keep a closer eye on the young horn bucket! It wasn't a terrible score! Not for him anyway!!! Jordan actually moves up in the League from ninth up to seventh.
I am not happy. And I probably won't be until I have a half decent League match again! I came ninth in the League and I played like a bit of a tit... well, actually a big tit... or actually, I actually played like a huge, floppy, middle aged, quickly travelling south kind of a tit! In other words... shite! Not only did I play like utter tosh, I have also lost my top spot status! Yes, truly infuriating! I move down in the League from the very top down to third. But hopefully not for long! Do you hear that Jacob and Millie?! I'm coming for you both, you teency weency arseholes!!
Neil played a bit better (finishing tenth in the Match) than Neil normally does... well... he scored more than 200 at least. I will say, however, that the rules of Yahtzee do actually seem to be sticking in his soft, squishy brainium at long last. He is not asking whoever is unlucky enough to be sat next to him what he is supposed to be doing so much any more, which is a definite improvement! He does still ask for help with scoring. But it isn't HIS fault. He was a bit of a latch key kid from mean streets of Bradford and he never attended school, so he cannot count... so when you think about it, it IS his fault really!! He, somewhat surprisingly, improves his League position from tenth up to sixth! Well done little fella!
Miles came eleventh in the Match. I talk about people been distracted quite often in these summaries, but this time, in Miles's case, I do think he was genuinely distracted. Why? Because he is in love. He has been floating around the place like his blood is made out of helium with a big cheesy grin on his face for the past week or so! Her name is Lilly. Not our Lily from the BHO, Miles is way too good for her, and from what I can tell, she is a sweet young lady that doesn't seem to care about his fringe, which she should. But that is neither here nor there! The salient fact is that he is in love and it caused him to play a bit shit! He moves from fourteenth in the League down to fifteenth.
Claire, who finished twelfth, has been having a shocker recently! It's hard to believe that she has two Championship badges. No, really!! She may too have been distracted, but not by love, but by the prospect of another Carlsberg after finishing the one she was drinking! She remains bottom of the League.
Faith came thirteenth in the Match with a less than acceptable score. It's still early days, but if I have learned anything from playing League Yahtzee, it is that consistency is most definitely key! If you have one bad match it really isn't the end of the world, but if you start to make a habit of it though, bad things will happen. So let's hope that Faith can buck this trend of iffy scores and start to climb the League sooner rather than later! She falls from eighth in the League down to eleventh.
Fourteenth in the Match belonged to my impressively odd nephew, James. He has been doing reasonably well up until this Match, then it all went a bit tits up! I'm not suggesting that he was setting the Yahtzee world on fire, but he was doing a very fine job, nonetheless. But no-one has a perfect run in this game, so, like I said, a bit of a cock up here or there is not a disaster, but it's important that you get a grip of your performances before it's too late. So take this match as a warning young man! He moves from joint sixth in the League down to ninth.
Molly, somewhat unsurprisingly, came fifteenth in the Match. But unlike James, she really has no-one to blame but herself! The truth is, she played rubbish because she is a bit rubbish. Molly's whole attitude towards life is "don't think about it, just do it!". Well, this kind of attitude is definitely how she approaches Yahtzee. So... yeah! She moves from twelfth in the League down to joint thirteenth with Lee.
Kerrie finishe last in the match, which IS a surprise. I'm not suggesting that she is the most passionate Yahtzee player on the planet, but she is definitely passionate about winning! She may not like to admit it, because I (her brother) don't, but she does NOT like to lose. So it doesn't matter what she is doing, if she can win at it, she will definitely try her best! And while it hasn't been the greatest start to the League for her, there is more to come, you can count on that! She moves from fifth in the League down to tenth.
League Table as of 13/12/25
1. Jacob - 53pts
2. Millie - 48pts
3. Chris - 47pts
4. Grace - 46pts
5. Chloe - 43pts
6. Neil - 37pts
7. Jordan - 34pts
8. Russell - 33pts
9. James - 32pts
10. Kerrie - 31pts
11. Faith - 30pts
12. Lily - 25pts
=13. Molly - 22pts
=13. Lee - 22pts
15. Miles - 20pts
16. Claire - 16pts
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