Match Results
1. Chris - 265
2. Jacob - 241
3. Russell - 225
4. Millie - 166
5. Lee - 157
Summary
Another week, another live. But, if I'm honest, it was a bit of strange one. Let's talk about my daughter, Isabelle...
I have asked her on numerous occasions to play in the Live Matches, y'know, a non committal type of thing. She usually says no. Now, I don't know if it's because she hates Yahtzee or she just likes to see me squirm. I suspect it's the latter!
Anyway, she actually decided to play this week, although she wouldn't just let me know, she hid behind the pseudonym, "Bizzy". So for quite a while I actually thought we had a brand new player. It was only when "Bizzy" had to duck out of the match just over half way through that she let us know who she was.
When I found out, I was both pleased and disheartened. I was pleased because finally Isabelle had decided to play, but I was disheartened because she left early. That was until I found out why she'd buggered off. Turns out my granddaughter had come over very poorly and had started vomming like three times an hour. Obviously taking care of your children comes before any Yahtzee Match... in most cases, so she left to tend to her. Fair enough. The rest of us, however, managed to get a pretty bloody good match in...
In first place, obviously (yeah, right), was me! I would say I played not great, not bad, but at least consistently! Every plan I made seemed to work out and things just went smoothly. All in all, a pretty good day at the office.
Second place went to Jacob. Yeah, take that Jacob! Ya fanny!! He thinks he's oh so special because he wins so many Live Matches! Well not this time, dungeon master!!!! But he was still in the mix the crafty git! Right from the start, all the way until the bitter end, so I have to give the fella props for his persistence, but boy is it good to knock the shit eating grin right off his face!! Only joking, well played Jacob, my worthy adversary... ha!
Russell, who by now is known to have a well documented allergy to any Yahtzee Match that doesn't involve physical dice, came third with a fairly respectable performance. He was playing from Scotland, where he had shacked up for the week on holiday. I think his performance was bolstered by the liquid encouragement he got from drinking the Scotch Whiskey he had bought as a present for me. The scoundrel. Either way, it obviously helped, so, Russell, if you want to improve your Yahtzee gameplay, the solution seems fairly straightforward to me; just develop a drinking problem! Easy!
Millie came fifth in the Match. She must have been distracted while Lee, Millie's slave in all things nipple based, kept pestering her to apply the clamps. He's insatiable. I have said it before and I will say it again, Millie is a fantastic player. But she needs a clear head, so it's not hard to imagine how she was not at her most thunderously awesome as she was been twittered at by her very own domesticated sexual deviant!
Finally, it is the aforementioned sexual deviant, Lee, that ended up coming in last this week! He actually played like a bit of a nob. You would think that his own shonky performance would only affect him! Unfortunately, it affected us all! Primarily because his nipple torture twittering caused him to forget that he was actually involved in a Yahtzee Match! So much so that all the competitors in the Live Match, including myself, were left twiddling our thumbs while Millie was forced to administer Lee's "punishment" just so he would shut up and take his sodding turn! Inconsiderate gimp!
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog or on our Discord. You can also email me at bhoyahtzeeorg@gmail.com for any queries you might have.
See you next time, homies!!
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