Results
1. Neil - 400 (11pts)
2. Russell - 346 (10pts)
3. Chloe - 285 (9pts)
4. Grace - 266 (8pts)
5. Chris - 254 (7pts)
6. Lee - 240 (6pts)
7. Kerrie - 227 (5pts)
8. Jacob - 213 (4pts)
9. Claire - 207 (3pts)
10. Faith - 205 (2pts)
11. Millie - 190 (1pt)
Summary
It was a testicle chaffingly hot day when we descended upon Claire's unwelcoming abode so we could continue the League. The heat was certainly affecting us even before we got started. I was so warm I wore shorts, I was quickly asked to cover up as I never wear shorts and my milk white skin was blinding the others, Claire had a film of sweat so thick that she looked one of them giant church candles that have melted all the way to the bottom and Neil thought it would be appropriate to doff off all but his shorts and cool off in the kiddie pool. It looked like a SeaWorld demonstration, with added nicotine. I was even debating whetther the match should go ahead at all because we were so confuddled by the heat. But it did...
Neil, yes, you read that correctly, NEIL came first in the match. Not only did he come first, he destroyed us all with a fantastic score. I have no option but to put this down to the heat. Or cheating. Yeah, we'll go with cheating, that suits him better. He improves his League position from tenth all the way up to joint seventh. Russell came second in the match, proving that his run of cracking performances are far from over. His score was a winning one, if it hadn't have been for Neil's freak performance. But it didn't hurt him any, he remains first in the League and the margin between first and second place is growing, slowly, admittedly, but it's going in the right direction. He's living proof that age ain't nuttin' but a number! Chloe came third in the match with a very good performance. This could have been because she was in an incredibly good mood, which is absolutely unheard of. She was in such a good mood that I asked, with genuine concern, if she had taken something. But she insisted she hadn't. What I found out is that she has stayed in contact with the Turkish hunk of penis she had met on holiday, so maybe that explains it. She remains sixth in the League. Grace, who couldn't be with us in person, played with my beautiful wife Faith a couple of days later online. As it turns out she played while waiting for a sheep... sorry, I mean bus. It seems that this was a good thing as she finished fourth in the match. If it works, it works! Grace, CATCH MORE BUSSES! She moves up from ninth in the League to joint seventh with Neil. Sorry Grace, but you will have to be next to Neil for at least a week. We all feel your pain. I finished fifth in the match. Not ideal, but I can state that I was definitely feeling the heat of the day. I was a dribbling, sweaty, foisty mess, I think others noticed the offensive odour that was emanating from my nethers but they were just too polite to say, bless 'em. Even so, my mediocre performance does see me float in the League from joint fourth up to second. Oh yes, I'm still mixing it up at the top, but I've got work to do! Lee came sixth in the match. He was fresh faced, for the first half of the match, anyway, then the evidence that Dr. Green had payed him a visit was all over his face. But he stayed in control and knocked out a semi-decent score as well. He does, however, fall from eighth in the League down to ninth. Kerrie came seventh with a shaky performance, which was a bit surprising because if any of us shouldn't have been struggling with the heat, it was Kerrie. The selfish little git brought a jet engine sized fan, to which we all breathed a huge sigh of relief, then she turned it on and pointed it at... herself. But, whatever, I'm not one to grumble... ahem... She remains third in the League... annoying... Jacob, being the little hermit that he is, definitely cannot stand the heat unless it is from a fire he lit himself during a World of Warcraft raiding session. Those innocent little Dwarves. As a result of his temperature aversion, he finished eighth and continued his fall from grace. He is not as cocky as he once was for some reason. He falls from joint fourth in the League down to fifth. Shocking! Claire came ninth in the match. Not only was she struggling with the heat as previously mentioned, she was also drunk, so very, very drunk. When she gets like this she's either over the top happy or a caged beast. The latter was the case that evening. We were all, quite justifiably, terrified. Her shitty score certainly didn't help. We're so sorry Claire it's just the way it goes sometimes. Just... don't hurt us. She falls from second in the League down to fourth. Faith finished tenth in the match. She very kindly offered to sit out of the "in person" match so she could play with Grace. She came worse off, it is true, but she always gives it a hundred percent, unless she's cooking. She takes a bit of a tumble from seventh in the League down to tenth. Millie finished last place in the match. The poor little duck isn't doing too well, is she? She remains last in the League, but I'm not to sure that she's bothered. She's one of those blasé type of people. I hesitate to say air headed, but she is, y'know, Welsh...
League Table as of 12/07/25
1. Russell - 62pts
2. Chris - 56pts
3. Kerrie - 55pts
4. Claire - 54pts
5. Jacob - 53pts
6. Chloe - 52pts
=7. Grace - 43pts
=7. Neil - 43pts
9. Lee - 42pts
10. Faith - 41pts
11. Millie - 30pts
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