Match Results
1. Kian - 445
2. Claire - 410
3. Jacob - 318
4. Millie - 259
5. Russell - 246
6. Faith - 214
=7. Chris - 197
=7. Lee - 197
Summary
It was a full house this Friday for the Live Match, and let me tell you... this Match was unlike ANY I have EVER seen... EVER... EVER EVER... EVER EVER EVER... IN LIFE!! Let's get right down to business!!
Kian, our resident noob came right out of the shadows of obscurity and took first place in the Match, with a whopping score! He got three... yes THREE whole Yahtzees!! Honestly I'm flabbergasted! And I must say he has earned my respect. Even though I found out he plays rugby, like my son does (he's fourteen) and he's too scared to play him one on one. The girl!
Claire came second. She must have thought that she had the whole Match sewn up. She herself got two Yahtzees and was in the lead. Right up until the moment that she wasn't, because Kian battered her. Ha... ha... ha...
Jacob came third. He ALSO got two Yahtzees! I swear their dice must have been on steroids. I tell ya, it's not often you get two Yahtzees and find yourself third place in a Match! But... and I'm not being biased here... it couldn't have happened to a more deservingly lucky little twat crumpet! Maybe next time, young twiglet!
Millie came fourth with a score which, in many other Matches, could very well have been a winning one. But I think we have established by now that this was no normal Match! And simply because this is no normal Match, the Welsh wonder should hold her head up high with pride then turn and look the other way because Lee told me he needs a knuckle shuffle, and we know what he's like (if you don't, dear reader, email me for details). The dirty boy.
Russell came fifth... again with a score that on any other day could have been a winner! But, alas, not today. But Russell is a big boy (too big, some might say... not me) and he has learned to deal with disappointment. He is Claire's Dad, after all... he's also mine, but c'mon, I'm awesome...
Even Faith didn't come last this time around. She came sixth. That, if nothing else, should tell you how insane this Match was! I'm only joking, she can really roll when she wants to! Trouble is, she just doesn't want to very often!
I came joint seventh. Now, if ever there was an unlucky prick that could join a Match in which pretty much everyone gets a flipping Yahtzee then it is me! How do I know that? Because that is EXACTLY what happened! The infuriating part of it is that before all the sodding Yahtzee's started flying about, I was actually doing pretty well! But why would Lady Luck treat me like anything other than a syphilitic pimp that is trying to have unprotected sex with her daughter?!
Lee came joint seventh alongside myself. But, while this was a tragedy for me, Lee probably didn't even notice. He was stoned. I have no confirmation of this. But trust me. He was stoned... and when he gets stoned he gets horny. Like a rutting mongrel. Many a time we have played Yahtzee in person while he has been stoned and the Match very rarely reaches it's end before he is trying to hump my leg. Shameful!
Well, that was this Friday's Live match summary. Don't forget, if you're a member, you can join in too if you fancy it. Just keep an eye on the blog or on our Discord. You can also email me at bhoyahtzeorg@gmail.com for any queries you might have.
Live Leaderboard as of 01/05/26
1. Jacob - 13
2. Chris - 9
3. Claire - 8
4. Russell - 7
5. Millie - 6
6. Miles - 4
7. Lee - 3
8. Kerrie - 2
=9. Faith - 1
=9. Chloe - 1
=9. Kian - 1
=12. Lily
=12. Isabelle
=12. Grace
=12. Jordan
=12. Theo
=12. Jess
=12. "Choi"
Comments
Post a Comment