BHOF0001 - End of Year Knockout 2024 - Summary

 

Introduction

  Well, after all that, I'm absolutely knackered. What follows is a tale of drama, dropouts and additions. Hold on to your hats, folks.

  Certain "things" occured which meant Isabelle, Lee and Millie "couldn't" be involved. But nevermind, we did gain a member, Lilly. Obviously, her late addition to the knockout meant I didn't have time to create her profile beforehand. But it's coming, and it'll be a doozy!
  The proceedings began with the usual fafferama that is usually included with anything that is involved with doing stuff at Claire's. Neil decided that the event's opening was the perfect time for him to pretend he's vaguely useful and Claire buggered off to God knows where for God knows how long. But eventually, we did get started.

Round 1 - Summary

  Molly topped the table with an astonishing score. A score so unbelievable given her lousy performance in the league that I literally wet my little panties. Miles's first match out of retirement was an impressive one. He finished in second place. Third place went to Kerrie, proving she is still a solid performer. Claire placed fourth, with a relatively jabber free match. She was simultaneously squiffy and focused. Not sure how that's possible, but there you go. I managed to nestle my little self into fifth place, feeling quietly confident. Russell got sixth place, which was surprising as he was also attempting to fight his daily battle with narcolepsy. Lilly, our first newbie, despite being empty headed, squeaky and sloshed, made it through to round 2, finishing seventh. The last to negotiate their way past the bouncers and through the doors into round 2 was Faith. But only by the skin of her teeth. She finished eighth.

  Sadly, in a knockout, there has to be those that are first out the door. And so it was for young Jacob, our second newbie. He missed out on the second round by one measly point! But he'll be back I'm sure, ready to fight once again. He finished ninth. Neil went out, most likely because we were watching him like a hawk so he couldn't cheat. He finished tenth. Last and certainly least, right at the bottom of the pile was Chloe with a pitiful score. So pitiful in fact that she apologised to the whole group and begged for our forgiveness. We're still deliberating.

Round 1 - Results

1. Molly - 438

2. Miles - 384
3. Kerrie - 333
4. Claire - 268
5. Chris - 265
6. Russell - 238
7. Lilly - 228
8. Faith - 225
9. Jacob - 224 - Eliminated
10. Neil - 220 - Eliminated
11. Chloe - 185 - Eliminated

Round 2 - Summary

  The second round got underway in very much the same haphazard way as the first. But underway it got. Coming in top of the board was none other my good self. I was feeling good and I bagged a rare win. Miles managed another second place spot. Things were going good for this young whippersnapper. Lilly, or Shrilly (due to the noise she makes while pissed), somehow managed third place, despite the ever increasing alcohol coursing through her flimsy, pin-headed body. But you've still got to hand it to her. Russell, while slowly losing his battle with the sheep he's trying not to count, came in a cool fourth, safe for another round. Last to get through those pearly gates was Claire, hanging on by a thread. But she did it. As that slimy git always seems to do.

  And as another round came to a close, three more desciples of the Yahtzee board fell by the wayside. Kerrie, God bless her immaculate nails, finished sixth and was henceforth out of the knockout. I took no pleasure in this... well... not really. Faith, who did a stellar job, despite the fact she was wrestling with our very tired five year old and being a bit tipsy on prosecco, came seventh and therefore out of the knockout. But it did give her a chance to get some much needed sleep. And after a blisteringly good score, Molly, who was so good in the first round, absolutely cocked it up in this round and finished last. THAT'S the Molly we know!

Round 2 - Results

1. Chris - 267

2. Miles - 240
3. Lilly - 221
4. Russell - 220
5. Claire - 203
6. Kerrie - 198 - Eliminated
7. Faith - 170 - Eliminated 
8. Molly - 142 - Eliminated

Round 3 - Summary

  Round three got underway, and by this point we were all a bit weary. But it's their own sodding faults for turning up so flipping late. The turds. Shockingly, I took the top spot once again. My confidence was higher than it had been in some time. I was hopeful. Miles, as had been the case in the previous two rounds, finished second place and his constitution was as strong as it was at the start. Claire, foggy eyed and just a wee bit dribbly, finished third to round out the final three of 2024's End of Year Knockout.

  Lilly, was eliminated, she had played valiantly, but she had reached her limit and the booze got the best of her and she finished fourth. Russell, who placed last, who had resorted to sticky taping his eyelids to his forehead, could now finally catch some shut-eye. Sleep well, Lieutenant Rusty.

Round 3 - Results

1. Chris - 268

2. Miles - 226
3. Claire - 208
4. Lilly- 201 - Eliminated 
5. Russell- 192 - Eliminated

Final - Summary 

  So the time had come. Many hours of rolling dice had all been leading to this single moment. The final. After a much needed 13 second break the match began.

  It was a tense affair, with all the drama you would expect at such a time. I was focused, Miles was focused, Claire was mumbling and slurring. I felt good, the opening dice were promising, Miles was pulling off a pretty decent poker face, Claire was gurning. I continued to feel confident until Claire, that twatting woman, got a Yahtzee. That's about the time I fell apart. My head went down and I was consistently rolling what can only be described as codswallop. Miles remained focused. By the second third of the match, I knew I had let it slip through my fingers. It was my own fault. I got in my own head. But Claire had a bloody good go at getting in there too. The game came to its conclusion and through my tears, I relayed the results. I had limped into last last place, battle worn and depressed. Miles finished second. AGAIN. And Claire took home the badge and the glory. She wasn't the most dignified of winners (silly bint), but I guess I was not so dignified in defeat. Miles remained emotionless.

Final - Results 
1. Claire - 269 - Winner 🏆
2. Miles - 219
3. Chris - 207