Sometimes in life, certain things just make you want want to commit murder. You may not be guilty of this, but I know I am. Some things just make me want to grab the closest person available and throttle them until they go cold. I'm exaggerating a bit, but you know what I mean. Yahtzee is a prime example of one of these triggers. But Chris, I hear you ask, didn't you say that you use Yahtzee to relax? Well, yes I do, but it hasn't always been this way. I had to come to terms with a few things before I found my Yahtzee zen.
So how do you keep your anger in check when the Yahtzee Gods seem out to get you? Well, if you relax and put the knife down, I'll try to explain. First off, just be aware that when it comes to competitive Yahtzee, I can still get quite animated. BUT, there is a difference between passion and rage, and I'll be the first to admit that there is a very fine line between the two. Passion for the love of the game (any game) should never turn in to outward rage. Anger and bad vibes are the ultimate killjoy for any game/sport, whether competitive or otherwise, so it's good to keep it in check. Now I can't speak for any other game/sport, but I do know a thing or two about Yahtzee. So humour me if you will, while I let you in on a few few things that I have learned, and hopefully your matches won't end in the disposal of cadavers or prison time.
First of all, If the first few rolls of a match don't go your way, don't panic or throw a hissy fit. It's still early. Not every roll is gonna be a mega point spinner. Keep your head in the game and score sensibly. Too many people give up on a game of Yahtzee way too soon because they assume they are woefully behind. They're silly people, but you're not. You realise that there are thirteen rounds in Yahtzee and every one of them counts. Most games are retrievable from a from a few crappy early rolls if you keep your eye on the prize and refuse to let yourself get prematurely despondent.
"You can't win 'em all!". This term gets thrown about all over the place and your first reaction may be to punch the person that said it square in the face, especially if you've just lost. But just count to ten and retreat to your happy place. However infuriating this phrase may be, it is, in fact, true. Sometimes it's just not going to be your day. It's healthy to want to win. It's unhealthy to be a dick about it. If you're playing long format competitive Yahtzee, such as a league, you're bound to have a match that doesn't go your way. My advice; get used to it. But don't give up. If you're on a bad run and you let it get to you, you will end up bringing that negative attitude with you and it will end up affecting your decisions and ultimately your scores. Trust me, I see it a lot and I've done it myself. Rather than ending a match in an explicit tirade of bad sportsmanship and lobbing the dice at that one twat that always seems to get twelve Yahtzees in a match (you know who you are), just draw a line under it and move on. What's done is done and there's little you can do about it now. What you can do is recognise where you may have gone wrong in the match and try not to play like a tool again. It can only take a couple of good matches to be right back in the fight for the top of the league. And remember, many of your competitors are probably having nightmare matches themselves, but you're just too wrapped up in your own to recognise it.
There is one thing guaranteed to draw a collective groan from all but one competitor in a game of Yahtzee, and that's when a competitor rolls a... well... Yahtzee. There is a gaping chasm between how you feel when you get a Yahtzee and when your opponent gets a Yahtzee. The former makes you feel invincible and the latter makes you want to curl up into a ball, put on a Barry Manilow album and cry blood until you pass out. But don't despair! An opponent getting a Yahtzee is not the match killer many people can often assume it to be. Again, with a level head, sensible scoring and a dash of luck you can beat an opponent with a Yahtzee even if you don't manage to get one of your own. If your opponent manages a second or, god forbid, a third Yahtzee and you have failed to get your first, the likelihood of you coming out of the match on top are pretty slim. But even then, don't despair. If you're playing one on one then, yes, you're pretty much buggered, but if you're playing league or teams, keep your head up and focus on those scores and aim for as high a position in the match as you can realistically achieve, this can only help to maintain or even improve your position in the league.
So remember, before you reach for your Kalashnikov and mow down your rivals in a fit of rage and bloody vengeance, just take a step back, take a deep breath and ask yourself, is it really that bad? Eight times out of ten it won't be. Plus, the BHO does not recognise mass murder as a victory in Yahtzee so I probably wouldn't bother anyway.
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