Introduction
It had been a fair amount of time since Jacob and myself had got together for a head to head match, so I thought I'd call him and see if he was up to it. To my surprise, when I called, he actually answered. The trouble was, I could barely hear him over the noise of the tavern he was sat drinking in. Just from the noise over the phone I knew where he was, I heard the normal sounds that usually accompany any phone call that he makes; goblins singing drunken folk songs, druids debating which spell is best for making their enemies pubes fall out and barbarians throwing out peasants that were getting a little bit boisterous. Yes, he was back in Middle Earth... or the World of Warcraft equivalent; I apologise, I am not accustomed.
But, it sounded like he was actually happy to get my call, I think mainly because he owes Shmeebold the Great quite a substantial amount of money in unpaid Yahtzee debts, so I was actually a good excuse to get him out of a pretty sticky situation, although, normally, the stickier the situation the better for Jacob, if you know what I mean... wink wink...
Match Results
1. Jacob - 245
2. Chris - 244
Summary
It started off so well (for me). I was getting down and dirty. Grinding out some serious scores. I have to admit, I thought I had the pointy little git beat, for a very... VERY, brief moment. Then.... it all went to shit! If I'm honest, Jacob used me like like one of his nymph wenches... salty and cold! It was a close match! In fact it was closer than Jacob gets to Flintlock's bum beard. But he knew.... he knew... he bloody KNEW that he had me! The smarmy little git ended up beating me... by a point. ONE MEASLY POINT! I would love to be all gentlemanly about the whole thing... but I just can't. I'm not proud to admit it, but I am actually about as bitter as a tramp's penis!
Standings
Chris 1 - 2 Jacob
Final Thoughts
This competition is far from over and I now have my sights set on destroying Jacob's arse like he is the new fish in prison... I take results such as this as a personal insult and I am ready for vengeance! Now, don't get me wrong, Jacob is a dedicated Yahtzee player... but I LIVE for this shit! Yes, I may be a match behind, but he will soon feel the full wrath of my finest rolling claw!
I'm coming for you... twat!
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