Introduction
Well, all I can say is that Jacob must have been well and truly lost in the craft of war since we played this match. Tut. Tut. Tut.
Normally I like to give you all a bit of an update on how things have been going for both me and my enemy. But, to be perfectly honest, for all the responses I got from this wiry git since we played, I may as well have been talking with my wife!
Jacob and I shared the New Year together, slobbered on each other a bit, released some sexual tension (privately of course. Claire, I would bin those flannels), then five days later we played this match. Since then, nada, zip, nothing!
So, all this is to say, I don't know what he has been up to, so I'm going to make an educated guess. But! Before you start calling me disingenuous, wait until the next match and I'll let you know how close I was to the truth, because I will bet you all my children (honestly) that I'm not that far off!
Like a lot of us (not so much myself), Jacob is a busy man! He has a lot of responsibilities. To be honest, I don't really know how he manages to find time to actually play a game as mundane as Yahtzee. You see, early morning, after his crumpets, Jacob will go wandering through various wooded areas and open grounds searching for a lonely traveller that he can beat to death and steal their loot. After a couple of hours of this, he will stop for a cup of tea and a scone. Then it's right back down to work. Hopefully after lunch he will stumble upon a village (with his cronies) that he deems weak enough, so weak that they will bow down to his every whim. After the appropriate amount of intimidation, he can usually take everything that the village has to offer. He is a bad, bad man. Once the sun grows heavy in the sky he will normally find himself a wench that he can incapacitate and carry back to his lair for an evening of romance before a hearty meal of druid chops and elf wings with a bit of dried mage blood for garnish!
I am not, of course, talking about Jacob's true routine, but his World of Warcraft routine. But at this point, who knows the difference?
Anyway, my point is Jacob, get in touch next time I ask you how your week has been, you loveable but pretty ignorant git!
Match Results
1. Jacob - 238
2. Chris - 192
Summary
I've got a sneaking feeling that this "duel" is gonna be a competitive one. It started out as a pretty even Match, we were scoring pretty well for the first third of it and anybody could have won. Then I rolled a big, massive pile of nothing. I was hoping that Jacob would do the same... but no... he got himself in the lead, and not even unobtainably so... but it was enough to keep me down. This was an online match, but I can still picture Jacob's face looking at me through the screen of his phone. You know the face I mean; that filthy, shit eating grin that your wife gives you when she tells you that she's getting the house. Not that I would know, my wife loves me... and my house isn't mine anyway.
Regardless, after that, he had me. Things just didn't go my way from then on. I rolled nothing, and he got all he wanted.
Okay, it wasn't a great score from Jacob, but it was certainly better than mine! So, well done, good sir. But it ain't over yet!!
Standings
Chris 1 - 1 Jacob
Final Thoughts
So, two matches in, it's one match apiece. This isn't something I am happy with, but let's face it, who likes losing at any point? But there is a long way to go, and I hate to say it but Jacob is a great player! However, he usually does well in singular matches, the League results will testify to that. So basically, all I have to say to him is, bring it on you big, green son of a bitch! You think I'm scared of ya?!?!
I know he doesn't read these, so please... don't tell him...
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