Wow, wow, wow. A whole year has passed since the inception of The BHO Yahtzee Organisation. Just saying that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling in my no no place. And while it may be true, the BHO still only has the one faction, I honestly couldn't care less. Our own faction has grown, more or less doubled, in fact, and I certainly never thought we would make it a whole year. This blog is less than half the age of the BHO so it is still very much in it's infancy, but it has still had it's own successes in terms of growth. The readership has grown impressively, in my opinion. The readers are no longer just members of my family or members of our faction, they consist of people from all over the world, which is mind boggling to me. However, if the blog, and subsequent memberships are to grow, there is an investment of time and money that still needs to be undertaken, by me. This is tricky, as currently cash is a commodity that I frequently find in short supply.
But, taking all that in to account, I feel there is much to celebrate. And that's what we're here to do! And I thought, what better way to do it than to hand out some honours. I have personally selected these honours, but be assured I have been as unbiased as is humanly possible and I have consulted match statistics in order to inform my conclusions. So, without further ado, let us begin with the worst of the honours this celebration has to offer:
Loser Of The Year - Christopher Bush - 💩
Yep, little old me. And I don't say this just make a big point of how unbiased I am, but to tell the truth. Trust me, it took a hell of a lot of soul searching for me to reach this conclusion, but I really felt I had no option.
When I look back at the match summaries it all becomes painfully clear. I have been a frightfully poor loser this year; belligerent, cantankerous and moody. But not just after the match. No, during as well. There has been plenty of table banging, expletives and even tears to add insult to injury, even though I have nobody else to blame but myself, as I have played like a double arm amputee in a darts match. So, all in all, and I really do hate to say it, but this "award" is extremely well deserved. But you mark my words, next year will be different. Or perhaps just the same, but hopefully with more wins!
Worst Player Of The Year - Molly Hoggarth - 💩
This particular award was a tough one. There have been a few dud players this year, me included. But after a bit of digging, it came down to just two. It was a toss up between Millie for the first League or Molly for the second. The decision was so close, that I couldn't, in all fairness, make it on my own. I had to consult the statistics, which I did, and it gives me no pleasure to say that Molly just pinched it. Unfortunately, she has been consistently awful all the way through League Two, so consistently awful that it has to be an achievement in itself to come dead last with such regularity. She has played like a slug in a salt eating competition. But I'm not one to harp on with such negativity. It's been fantastic having Molly around for League Two, but, and this is just a suggestion, it would be even better if she could convince her brain to join in next time as well.
Surprise Player Of The Year - Miles Bush - 🥈
This award could only go to Miles. While it is true that he has been absent in League Two, every match he has been involved in, he has played frighteningly well. Good scores are attracted to Miles like middle aged single women are attracted to anything with a nob. He came second in the First League and Second in every single match of The End Of Year Knockout, which is impressive in itself. He plays with a steely determination, a laser like focus and he never lets anything get to him, he just takes it all in his stride. He certainly doesn't get that from me! If only I had his tenacity. It gives me great pleasure to award Miles with this honour, and I hope it gives him the encouragement he needs to come back and play in League Three. We need you boy. Anyway, well done lad, but come on, more Yahtzee, less google searches of oiled up six packs.
Luckiest Twat Of The Year - Kerrie Bush -🏅
Could it really be anyone else? Not one player in our faction can even come close to getting the amount of Yahtzees this smarmy git has gotten, or should I just call her David Copperfield? She seems to be able to knock out a Yahtzee while sipping on a Coke, doing advanced mathematics in order to account for that penny she lost in 2012 or looking for the next nation she wants to rent for a weeks holiday. This has led me to come to some possible conclusions. Either she's cheating, but I just can't see it happening as my sweaty green, jealous eyes have been watching her like a hawk. Either that or she's made a deal with Satan himself. You are free to make your own mind up on that one. But until there is evidence confirming my suspicions, you have to give her credit where credit is due. Well done Kerrie... s'pose.
Player Of The Year - Claire Hoggarth - 🏆
As much as it pains me to give this honour to Claire, I really had no choice. The stats are the stats, and i am nothing if not up front and honest. I wish I weren't, but unfortunately I am. Goddamn my OCD riddled brain. She may have had a slight wobble in League Two (that's an understatement), but she is currently the only player in our Faction to have two Championship badges, an achievement that is impossible to ignore. So not only is she the first player in the BHO to earn one badge, then two badges, she's now the first Player Of The Year. This honestly makes me feel physically sick, but as much as it grinds my gears to admit it, she is very deserving of the honour, and I have nothing but resentment... no... I mean respect for her achievements. Yes, respect for that troll looking, Carlsberg swilling, third world living, hobbit marrying, kebab inhaling, troglodyte raising, welsh thing harboring, gherkin wearing, third rate breakfast selling bint. Yes... all the respect in the world. Love you... sort of... kind of... maybe... not really... do one!
Well, there you go, all the honours awarded for the BHO's first year. Here's to another fantastic year of Yahtzee. I can't wait to see which players make a name for themselves in the next 365 days.
I just want to say thank you to all of you that have played, and continue to play in the BHO's various competitions, and also those who keep up with the blog and keep up with the match summaries. You're the reason we have made it a whole year and you are the reason I'll continue to write posts and organise the Leagues, Tournaments and Championships. If we can grow as much this year as we did last year, I will be one happy middle aged man that has an unhealthy obsession with a board game.
Much love xxxxx
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