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| The Underhanded Player |
There are three types of competitors in Yahtzee (in any game actually); Those that play by the rules, those who don't and those who employ underhanded tactics but technically still play by the rules. It's the latter type of competitor I wish to discuss today.
The underhanded player approaches Yahtzee much the same way a card player might approach Poker. They believe that the game is more than just the rules, the strategy and the scores. It's about the psychology also. The aim of this is to use mindgames to disrupt the play of fellow competitors as much as they can for there own benefit. I will say right now that I could occasionally be accused of this, but I by no means condone it. I subscribe to good sportsmanship 99% of the time, but when things aren't going your way it can be easy to resort to such measures.
So, how do you know when you're playing against an underhanded player. Well, there are a few telltale signs. Let me fill you in.
Something you may notice in the underhanded player is a kind of arrogant optimism that is incessantly persistent, whether they are doing well or not. This is not that they are hopelessly oblivious to how their game is going. This is a tactic and a cunning one at that. If you're not playing well and they notice this, they will use their optimism to further bury you in the mire. There's nothing more irritating when you're losing than having some perpetually chipper twat twittering in your ear telling you how brilliantly everything is going for them. It's a sneaky, devious approach, but not against the rules.
On the other side of the coin, the underhanded player may dispense with arrogant optimism and opt instead for mild hostility by way of needless impatience. This can often prove more useful to those shady characters, whereas arrogant optimism preys on those who are playing rubbish, needless impatience can turn a players good game and reduce it to a turd with just a flailing of their tongue. This may come in a variety of ways, such as attempting to rush the other players and forcing them to make decisions, decisions they may not have made if they didn't have the slimy elbow of the underhanded player in their ribs, them naughty boys. It can only take a simple "come on, get on with it" to achieve the desired effect. And the reason these slippery little bastards do it is because it works! They might even opt for straight up hostility with phrases that might include:
- "Why the bloody hell would you do that?"
- "Come on, roll them properly!"
- "What a shit roll!"
- "Do you kiss your mother with those dice?"
- "I think you should seriously consider Connect Four!"
- "Why are you even here?"
- "My turds roll better than you!"
These phrases might well be true, I don't know you, you could just be crap at Yahtzee. But more than likely, it's the underhanded player trying to get into your head. And again, they do it because it works!
But there is hope, much as the underhanded player employs the mind games of a poker player, you too could learn a thing or two from poker. If they come at you with any of these tactics, give them your best poker face and show them nothing. If they can't see they're affecting you, they will likely stop. Also, try your best to block out all noises from the outside world. If you can't hear it, it can't work. This is, however, easier said than done. I have, I admit, been the aggressor in this respect. I have alse been the reciever. And in my opinion the best strategy to employ against these shits is the same thing my mummy told me when I was young; "If you ignore those bullies, they will get bored and leave you alone." This is true. However, you won't get disqualified if you catch the blood boiling shitheads outside and show them what it means to cross you... Just if you do it during a match.
Remember kids, stay safe, the underhanded player is never too far away. These tactics may be bubbling inside yourself the next time things don't go your way. But come on, you're better than that... even if I'm not...
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