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| Exhibit A - Me - A Loner |
As we all know, Yahtzee is a game that can involve as many players as you can fit in your front room, providing you have a year or so to get through a match. But... but, but, but, did you know that you can play it on your own? Yeah, you heard me, all on your stoney lonesome.
Known as Solitaire Yahtzee, it's basically playing Yahtzee when you have no-one else to play with; indeed, if you have no friends at all (guilty). But why, as the title of this post suggests, would you play Yahtzee on your own? What's the point of rolling five dice continuously when there's no one there to crush with your mighty scores? Obviously that's the main reason we play, isn't it? Of course it is, and I wouldn't try to convince you otherwise, we must destroy our Yahtzee foes as we climb the seemingly insurmountable mountain peaks and descend into valleys that even the sunlight is afraid to call it's home, beset on all sides by our dice based enemies that we must slay on the twisted path towards greatness and immortality...
Apologies, got a bit carried away there. Back to the matter at hand. If you give me a few brief moments, I'll attempt, to the best of my abilities, to explain the benefits of Solitaire Yahtzee and why I personally love it. You may not agree and after reading this you may well think it's still a waste of time. That's okay. But if I can't convince you to try it for yourself, at least I may be able to make you understand why I, and other possibly tragic individuals like me choose to spend their time rolling those five dice all on their lonesome.
Before there was a BHO, before there was even an inkling of a silly thing such as a Yahtzee league, there was me. Just little old me, dice in one hand, cider in the other, weeping softly to myself. No one I knew, not even my wife, seemed to have any interest in dice games of any description, much less Yahtzee. I say not even my wife, but the truth is her interets and my interests very rarely overlap; the fact that we even play Yahtzee together now is, quite frankly, nothing short of a miracle. However, I digress. The salient facts are these; I wanted to play Yahtzee and no one else did (or that's what I thought at the time). So I resolved to do what I normally do with all my other interests. I wiped my tears away, got a fresh can of cider and I did it on my own. And that's how it went for a good amount of time. But despite being on my own and the odd confused side eye from my family, I enjoyed it. But ironically, it was only when the BHO got on its feet and I had actual real life people to play with did I really get in to Solitaire Yahtzee.
"Well that doesn't make any bloody sense!" I hear you deride from the cheap seats. Well, on the face of it, I can see your point. But there are a few genuinely valid reasons to play Solitaire Yahtzee in your down time from competitive Yahtzee. Let me explain.
Solitaire Yahtzee is no different to regular Yahtzee, it just, naturally, involves only one player. It requires no adjustments to the rules in order to play solo, and that's the reason it can be so beneficial. Follow my iffy logic on this; Competition play is no place to be trying out new things to try and improve your game. You're there for one thing and one thing only, to strike down your opponents with a ninja's precision and a viking's blood lust for victory. And, if I'm being honest, I struggle enough when it matters, so if I started taking stupid risks and adjusting my approach mid match, I would surely only make things worse! I'm also too competitive to do it in friendly games. So I save it for the solo matches. I test out probabilities, take risks I wouldn't normally take in matches to see if they're worth taking, if they are I'll implement them in the future, if not, I'll forget about them and move on. It's because of Solitaire Yahtzee that I've learned some of the nuances of the game such as what to play and when, which scores to save for later, when not to chase a lost cause and more. The fact is, I wouldn't know about them if I didn't take the time out to learn them. There are plenty of places online offering tips and trick to improve your score, and I have used them. That would probably be enough for some people, but I find that practice makes perfect and it also helps to retain the information. What can I say, I'm getting old.
Solitaire Yahtzee is also, for me, a form of relaxation. Those that know me, know that I'm a bit of a nut job. Not to get too serious or maudlin, but for a good four-ish years I have been stricken with anxiety and depression (yeah I know, boo hoo). It has the habit of turning me into somewhat of a recluse. Save your pity, friends, that's not why I am mentioning it. I actually make a point of not talking about it. Ask my wife. I bring it up merely to illustrate that Solitaire Yahtzee can be beneficial when it comes to my personal messy headed, brain related stuff.
It's well established that engaging in the things you love can be a great remedy for anxiety and depression, and Yahtzee is no exception. The repetitive nature of Yahtzee lends itself well to the so called art of relaxation. If I start feeling anxious, I just grab my dice and start rolling. There's something about the simple actions of rolling, counting, scoring and yes the repetitiveness that I can just get lost in. All worries dissipate, at least for that small amount of time, and if I'm lucky, when I'm done, they don't return. Don't get me wrong, this is by no means a cure (not even close) and it doesn't work all the time. It might not work for you at all, but, it is a benefit that I gain from Solitaire Yahtzee, and I thought it would be remiss of me if I didn't at least touch upon it. Competitive Yahtzee, however, is not recommended for relaxation. In fact it can have the opposite effect. It can often bring about ideas that are best left to those incarcerated in cells with no windows. I joke, but my point is it's bloody frustrating and sometimes anger inducing, not exactly conducive to a relaxed state of mind.
Finally, there is one more benefit to Solitaire Yahtzee that I haven't mentioned, and that is that it's just plain fun. Thigh slapping, toe tapping fun (did I just quote Steps?! Goddammit!). I love seeing what kind of score I can rack up without the jibber jabber of other competitors and not having to wait your turn which can amount to some time when you play in the numbers we do.
My fellow competitors don't seem to agree with me on this. They can't understand why I would even bother playing Yahtzee on my own, and that's mainly the reason for this post, to highlight what I get out of it on a personal level. But hey ho, if it's not for you, it's not for you.
So, call me a sad act, call me a Billy-No-Mates... y'know what, call me what you want, it's okay I can take it.
I will leave you with the words of the great Yahtzee general Claudius Anastasio Pimpledick the 3rd. I think it illustrates my feelings on the subject of Solitaire Yahtzee:
"For as long as thine arse doth have a hole,
One will endeavour, for all, to continue to roll.
Say what thine will yon savage runt,
For I am Claudius Anastasio Pimpledick, you...
...Idiot."
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